Urgent help needed

[SandyD]

Long story short... was with a guy for a short while, broke up, and then we started seeing eachother again. We never discussed being exclusive or in a relationship, I was taking it slow and seeing if we could work it out. He had been with a girl when we were apart.

 

Well... last night he called me and asked me out. I kind of wanted to do my own thing, so I declined and he went out with his friends to a concert. My sister happened to be there, and saw him with another girl. She waved at him, but he pretended like he didn´t see her. She called me, I was at a club, and I came home in tears. I got home and called a friend and just cried and cried and cried.

 

Then a friend told me he and his roommates had had a bbq at his place this past Thursday. The girl he had supposedly seen when we were apart was there, but they kept their distance. He never asked me over. He did call at like midnight, but I had turned off my cell.

 

So now I´m hurt and confused. I don´t even know what I should be doing. Should I call him and ask to talk? Should I just wait for him to contact me? Should I express hurt? Do I even have a right to be hurt? Please give me your opinion on how I should deal with this, because I am seriously at a loss here. This has never happened to me before.

[Sn0man]

The two of you never talked about being exclusive. He asked you out and you declined to go do something else. There's nothing wrong with him going out with someone else, as you let it happen. If it bothers you, talk to him about being exclusive, but don't blow him off the next time he asks you out to do something with him. Give the guy a call and work it out.

[marolua]

Your post made me angry First of all, you have a right to be hurt. Even if you have not talked about being together or not, you began to see each other again. I would also consider whether we can get together after this break-up.

 

I think you should avoid contact by no means. Don't tell him that you have been hurt. Don't explain and don't call him. You may even avoid responding his calls. See if he bothers to see why you do not want to speak with him.

 

Don't let him take you as an option, an ex-girlfriend who can wait near-by.

You deserve better than this!

Good luck!

[lady00]

I understand why you're feeling hurt...you have feelings for him so it's natural that you would be hurt by him being out with another girl...but the thing is, you guys did not say that you were an exclusive couple and he asked you to go out with him so he was free to go with someone else when you declined. I wouldn't get mad at him until you have all the facts. Talk to him about where you stand in the relationship. Don't play games...just be honest with him and tell him you were hurt and if you want to be exclusive tell him that. He can't read your mind so if you want things to work out, you two need to communicate openly.