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Complicated holiday with ex-fwb/friendzone girl


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I’ve been friends with this girl for 2 years, she had a bf when we met but she was going through a rough patch and ended up at mine all the time before she left him – she didn’t cheat on him with me but during that time I started having a crush on her.


I went to visit her a couple of times after she’d left him and we ended up sleeping together, but she was insistent that we worked better as mates. She then got a bf and I got jealous (I know), but they split up and she got back into contact with me. We met up a couple of times as I’m moving for a job that’s nearer to where she’s moved and she suggested we go on holiday together.


…So we leave in 10 days! – and I still like her… But I know she’s still dating other guys. What do I do? I want to raise the possibility of us being more than friends and asking her if she’ll see how the holiday goes as an extended date.. or do I just see what happens? I just don’t like the idea of her finding someone else before then.. I have no idea why she's going on this holiday with me but I honestly just feel she's probably using me as emotional backup like before...


I don't like where my mind's at with this. Every decision I make seems to be the wrong one with this girl. She hasn't set out the ground rules, we've kind of brushed the troubled past under the carpet and not really said anything about it, about feelings or anything like that... To be honest I was shocked she wanted to see me and now I'm just doing my usual overthinking.. It's kinda my thing....


She currently lives too far away for me just to casually meet up with her until end of June so meeting up beforehand isn't really an option..


What do I do? I really need help with this haha..

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This has disappointment written all over it.


Since the holiday is coming up soon, I suggest go, have a fun time, enjoy whatever is on offer and at the end of it, tell her how you feel and that you are moving closer. If she reiterates what she wants from you i.e. just being good mates, then walk away as there can only lead to a grand level of unhappiness going forward, probably ending with resentment.

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This has disappointment written all over it.


^ pretty much story of my last 5 years of relationships..


Yeah.. think you're right. I'll see how it goes but try not to get my hopes up too far. Moving to London so plenty more fish I guess

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