torigal Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 Ok i am having major trust issues and need to know if they are valid coz im losing my mind.. I have been with my partner for 15months.. we met online hes 30 im 38.. after a month of what i thought was magical.. he up and left me for his ex.. stating he shouldnt have gotten involved with someone when he still had feelings for her. This was news to me as i thought they were well over but turns out it was only 4 months. This crushed me and I should have ran for the hills then but i didnt .. a week later i msgd him and he came back telling me he did the wrong thing etc .. since then ive had no trust.. he constantly ogled other women when we went out .. i wasnt getting enough attention from him and when we fought i messed up and texted another guys pics etc to try and feel validation.. (i know a bad move and i feel sick for doing it)he found out and was not happy .. he tells me he doesnt trust me anymore ..i told him i just need to feel loved and sexy to him.. he rarely gave me compliments.. has a porn addiction altho never said no to me for sex he reckons thats why he ogled women.. anyway i had drinks with a friend and his mate one night while he was jamming with this pretty redhead.. he asked who the other guy was i didnt tell him coz i didnt know.. anyway he had D&Ms with this redhead .. slept there with a few other peeps coz he dont have a lic .. and then went out with her and a few others the next day .. all the while i asked him if he was coming over..he said i ignored him first when i didnt text him back who i was with.. i then found a text between them with her saying stuff like "i think ur cool but im trying to find myself "etc .. he deleted what he sent prior and he just reckons he asked her if "she found him attractive".. i know ive done the wrong thing by texting guys but i was willing at the very start to put 100% into this relationship.. he has made me have 24/7 anxiety .. please help what should i do hes currently begging his way back.. im too old for this crap Link to comment
jujusamples Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 For clarification, he did not make you have anxiety 24/7, YOU made yourself have anxieties. The only person that has the power for you to feel that way is yourself! He came into the relationship with you as you were his rebound, that's a red flag! You didn't respect yourself enough to have not gotten back together with him. This is why there are millions of advice to stick to no contact after a breakup. It rarely works out and it gets messy if you get back together. The the number 1 reason is resentment. This whole thing built up from the start when he dump you for his ex, you couldn't and haven't let it go. Therefore you got back with him solely based on your emotions. This guy obviously is not giving you any respect nor is he treating you like a girlfriend. You need to dump him and work on your self respect. You need to respect yourself in order for others to do the same. Link to comment
glitterfingers Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 What's a d&m? Deep & meaningful (conversation)... as in, he was not simply having a conversation or making small talk with this person but he was disclosing personal information and engaging her to share personal things about herself also. Trying to bond with her. Link to comment
glitterfingers Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 No, you should absolutely not stay. This relationship is already a trainwreck. He didn't know what he wanted from the start, you're both acting out on insecurities and jealousy, he's not respecting boundaries. He's a mess. You're right, you're far too old for this and have been for about 20 years. Move on. There are plenty of guys who would love to date you and who are looking for something more serious and stable with a woman your age. This guy is wasting your time. Link to comment
torigal Posted May 30, 2017 Author Share Posted May 30, 2017 Thanks guys .. just hurts coz he promises so much .. but i know things wont improve . Once the trust is gone its so hard to get back Link to comment
SherrySher Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 Words are only words, his actions are the opposite. He can't be trusted . He is too immature for anything serious. You can try and stay and force it, but all that will happen is more hurt on your end. Link to comment
Clio Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 .. after a month of what i thought was magical.. he up and left me for his ex.. .. he constantly ogled other women when we went out .. i wasnt getting enough attention from him .. has a porn addiction .. im too old for this crap You ARE too old for this crap. Therefore, NO you should not stay. In fact you should not have stayed at any age and you have stayed too long. He clearly was never that into you. He just wants a warm body/ a place holder until something more interesting comes along and he will say anything to you to get it. That is until he locates your replacement. Then he will up and leave you just like he did from the first month. He has clearly demonstrated that he is a player and will use you for sex for as long as you allow it. At this point he has shown you who he is. You are making INFORMED choices. At 38 this is a MAJOR waste of your time. Run. Link to comment
torigal Posted May 30, 2017 Author Share Posted May 30, 2017 What a loser .. he just came over pleading for me to give him another chance telling me to come to councelling all the while admitting that he thought the redhead liked him and he was curious so he went to see her to have a jam..then he blamed me for sexting a guy when i was hurt.. i told him to get the hell outta my house.. i am done Link to comment
torigal Posted May 31, 2017 Author Share Posted May 31, 2017 Now hes booking relationship councilling .. why dont he just leave me be Link to comment
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