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I have been seeing someone lately. I am a bisexual male, and the person I have been hinting on is a Japanese dude. I confessed that I liked him, and he dismissed the whole conversation as something he is not usually ordained to. Let me explain.


He said he is not too used to being very direct when it comes to relationship confessions but never did elaborate anything on it. I am still growing to like this person more and more, because despite after confessing we tend to hang around very often, for luncheon and dinners.


I also recently found out that, this person is dating someone, which he had met online. A girl of course. I can’t help but to feel very insecure and jealous of his relationship. I am afraid that I am crossing the line of being untrustworthy to the level of screening their conversations etc etc, asking him how’s it going and pretending to be happy for him.


Alas, I know what most of you would react to this. You would probably ask me to walk away because by doing all that I am only trying to hurt myself.

How do I make peace that he is not for me, and that I should move on? Should I still go on lunching and having dinners with this person? (we are still good friends but it's hard for me to draw the line)

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I wouldn't necessarily urge you to walk away. You just have to make it clear to him that you understand he doesn't want forward displays of affection but you're looking for something more than friendship and the possibility of being exclusive at some point. Don't expect him to a) read your mind and b) make any sort of decision or commitment unless you are totally clear on your intentions. If you say this and he still asks you to stay quiet about it, knowing that you like him and still goes on dates with you, then this guy is stringing you along until he finds someone better. On the flip side, perhaps he will give you a clear answer about his own feelings on the subject and you will know whether to stay or go.

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