URGENT!- what should i tell my mom?

[Poogle_Head]

I just set up a date with this guy I like last night for Friday, because I had off school and my mom had work. My plan was to go out and my mom wouldn't have to know about it (that's what my older brother does...it seemed like a good idea at the time).

Now, though, I found out that my mom does not have work on Friday. I don't want to cancel the date, but I really don't want to tell my mom. She'll ask me who I'm going with, and I don't know what to tell her. I might say that I'm going with a group of friends, but if I get caught lying I'll be in a lot of trouble.

 

The date is very innocent- we're just going to have lunch at a pizzeria and then see "Robots" (rated pg so there's sure to be 5-year-olds there). Here's some background on my mom so that you know what I'm dealing with- her view on summer is that it's not a time to relax, but a time "when kids can choose what kind of educational stuff they want to do." She rarely let's me go out with my friends, and several times her excuse has been "I'm too busy"- even if I have a ride and everything. If I ask her and she says no, I don't know what I'm going to do. Also, the pizzeria and movie theater are both within walking distance, so I don't need her to give me a ride.

 

Any advice is helpful! Please don't just say that I shouldn't lie to my mom, though, because I already know that.

[kskm]

Hm. I think that you should say "Mom and me and a friend are going to go the the pizzeria and a movie on friday if it's ok with you. It's in walking distance and I will be home by __ time." Say it in one sentence, also make sure you've done all of your chores and homework so there is no argument about responcibility.

[MetallicAguy]

Robots....XD. I wonder why girls like that crap, why can't they see something like Guesswho, that movie actually was good lol. Your mom seriously sounds like she had some bad experience with a guy when she was younger...something like that. Then explain to your mom she needs to relax, he's not some psycho Ted Bundy guy and he's not going to rape or molest you and she seriously needs medication if she thinks so lol, and tell her you guys are not going to get sexual or anything (even though you MIGHT make out...she needs to relax). Look you can just tell your mom "Look I'm just going with a guy I like, we're not doing anything bad, look how innocent the date is, were just going out for pizza and seeing a movie that's PG for god's sake". Then if she can't let you go, tell her to stop being so over-protective, it can and WILL affect you as you get older BELIEVE ME. Well if you have to cancel which will suck both for him and you, at least when your calling the guy CRY just do it..So he doesn't get the wrong idea that your not interested. I mean words will not explain, emotions can. If you say like "I can't go I'm really sorry..I want to, my mom's just being an over-protective dictating *****". He will still get the wrong idea, so just cry, if you can, just a bit. My god, living under your mom must be like living under Stalin in the days of USSR lol.

[kskm]

Well Metallica, there is a chance, even though it's small, a chance that any guy will rape or molest you. I've been there done that, with I guy that I had trusted when I was younger. So any Mother has a right to be protective, especially in this day in age. You don't know what people are capable of. BUT she should definitally let you go to dinner and a movie. I am just saying that it is fair of her to worry. I would worry if she wasnt worrying. Let us know how the date goes.

[MetallicAguy]

Well unless you live in the Queens projects or a bad part of Long Island NY (if there is one) then there shouldn't be anything to worry about.

[Poogle_Head]

You have NO IDEA what it's like to live with her.

 

And yea robots was actually his idea, but i think it was because the only other movies playing at the crappy theater at the times we could go were ice princess and miss congeniality two.

 

Also, if my mom found out we even kissed, I'm sure she would ban me from ever seeing a male in my life again and send to me to a convent. Okay maybe not, but she'd get mad.

 

btw, the guy is friends with my brother and my dad has known him for years- he's a boy scout and goes to a catholic school so I doubt he's going to rape me....

[MetallicAguy]

lmao, what a copy of Hitler in female form. I bet if she saw some guy with no shirt on and you like seeing it on TV or something she'd like have an epileptic seizure and be in the hospital for 48 hours with her only words "No men allowed" lol. Oh ok, well I guess you 2 could see another movie but MC2 is really stupid/pointless first off. Ice Princess is like for the goody-two shoe 3 year olds lol.

[kskm]

One- I didn't say that he was. I simply said that there are guys out there that you trust and do that.

Two- It doesn't matter that's he's a boyscout and Catholic, anyone is capable.

Three- I wasn't saying that to scare you in any way, but to make you aware that your Mom has a reason to worry. Understand where she is coming from and she will understand you.

[MetallicAguy]

Well of course a mom should worry, but not to the extent of her mom. That's a severe form of worrying. Now a moderate one wouldn't be so bad.

[kskm]

Well she is only 14, and I think that is too young to date. Or have sex, or oral sex or anything. Everyone's views are different. And my Mom would not let me date until I was 16- and even then it was hard to get her to say yes. Even though I had straight A's and was involved in extra ciricular activities.

[Poogle_Head]

Oh, I totally agree that she should worry. I also agree that 14-year-olds should be having no kind of sex. However, I do think I'm old enough to date. Not bragging, but I really think I deserve it. I get very good grades and do all my homework, I never get in trouble in or out of school, I help out at home some (ok not that much), and I hardly ever go out (thanks to my mom).

[kskm]

I don't see a problem with you going to the movies and getting a pizza either, but to call it a "date" for some reason I have a problem with that. Just me though- try calling it- going out with a good guy friend? lol.

[MetallicAguy]

No...that's not too young to date, too young to date is 12. What I think is ridiculous is like letting someone FIRST date at 16-18, because:

 

1. They have all of their crazy emotions and hormones built up.

2. They won't have any experience and it will make them furious and all of those happy hormones and emotions will turn into suicidal and pissed off emotions. Now not saying every teen WILL have these things happen but most people that I've seen (I'm friends with a lot of these types of people at this age area) do.

3. Plus since they have the emotions built up, they will want to get sexual even faster because they want to do the ultimate thing to let it all out. It's not like making out for 3 hours is going to satisfy it...it needs something BIG lol. I mean not saying teenagers aren't going to get sexual because of all the garbage of TV that glorifies sexual activity. But yeah, it will increase the risk of doing so more than the small percent of doing so.

[MetallicAguy]

Dating prior to 16-18 is I think ok. Because it gives out experience and the desire of our primitive urge isn't so built up.

[kskm]

Well everyone has their own opinions, that's what I love about this site, but here we go:

 

I waited until I was 16 to date. It did not make me suicidal or anything. I actually think it was good because I was old enough to know what to expect from a guy, and I think that in order to have a real date, you should be able to drive there! But waiting until you are 16 is definitally not a bad thing.

But like I said before I see no problem in haning out with a guy before then.

[MetallicAguy]

Well technically, poogles doing is that. It seems more of hanging out to me. [shrugs]. But I don't know, it just seems like you want to let those hormones out at her age (well my age lol) so you don't obsess over them like it's a daily need and you will die if you don't fill it in. Well still I mean I kind of agree with the whole thing about having a car and everything for it (I hate driving with like my mom or something because it's hard to talk to your date while a parent is in the car...it's un-explainable...it's just some really bad feeling of tension lol) but it just feels better to have some experience and discover what you'd like in a person. Hell, when I started dating early, I discovered that I'd actually like more outgoing girls than girls that are more like me. It was the opposite of what I THOUGHT I'd like so yeah, it's better to give it a shot at your age.

[whyisthatlegal]

Okay, well I was just wondering how old is the guy? and i think you should say something like "hey mom, can I go to the movies with a friend?" or you could ask your dad if he lives with you...but If your mom says no then say something like "God mom! why are you always so over-protective? You don't trust me at all to make the right desicions!" then run to your room and slam the door so she feels guilty. sorry, i don't really have that much experience with over-protected mothrs. mine lets me do what i want usually...

[duck_slayer65]

k thats everyone of ur views but poogles asked wat to say. not wat everyone else thought. we know her mom is an overprotective freak but you should just try and talk to her. sweet talk her in to it and another thing DO NOT get into an argument through the week. she'll probly say you cant go and u dont want that. anywho thats wat i think

[kskm]

Whatever you do, do not run to your door and slam it. That is not going to get you what you want. Having a adult conversation is much better. Approach her after your done with your chores and homework and say " Mom if it's ok with you I am done with my chores and homework and would like to go to the movies and dinner with a friend". She will respect you more if you are mature, not a screaming child that is trying to get their way.

[Poogle_Head]

Ok, what just happened to this thread?

Why were like ten thousand posts deleted? Including one or two of mine?

 

Oh yeah, and the guy is a year and 10 months older than me.... is that too much? He's only in the grade above me.

[melrich]

I did not want to delete the entire thread. Some posts were removed for flaming.

[Poogle_Head]

Oh alright thanks for letting me know!

[kskm]

No, I don't think that that is a big age gap at all. Usually girls date a little bit older then them.

[summerdreams]

I read all the posts and it seems to me that you are a mature girl for your age. I don't think there is anything wrong with you calling it a date...I mean who cares, you're a teenager and it's very innocent...maybe your mom just doesn't realize it. I would just tell her you're going with a friend, don't tell her it's a date even though you and all your friends know it really is...hehehe

[MetallicAguy]

Yeah, how do you know what you like in guy's you'll date if you don't practice? Well not practice, experience is more of the word.

 

 

 

 

***Richgabe, why was it removed for "flaming" that is not flaming my friend. Flaming is when 2 immature people get at it complaining and arguing there way dissing each other out to the maximum extent until they can't think of what to type until it gets down to "Hey buddy **** you". Arguing MATURELY over why it matters is a more intelligent way and is not flaming. I've done way too many forums to think that's flaming, because it isn't. Anyhow yeah. Like right now I'm arguing, but it isn't a flame, it's just a way of proving my point in a mature way.