How do I meet a nice lady?

[Dougly 85]

Hi

 

I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 29. Looking back I know it's because I made very little effort, I'm a fairly decent looking guy and get on well with most people. My ex and I met at work and got to know each other over a period of 6 months and staff do's after work drinks and became a bit flirty until we kissed at a co-workers wedding. I feel like I have to have attraction build up like this otherwise it would just feel contrived. I've been on a couple of dates from internet sites, but it's basically meeting a stranger and I cannot feel 'attracted' to someone unless I know them, I thought my ex was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen when I first saw her, but wouldn't say i was immediately attracted towards her.

 

How do I meet girls around late twenties to mid thirties in the UK to develop friendships with? I don't really know anybody in the town in which I'm living.

[nutbrownhare]

Hi

How do I meet girls around late twenties to mid thirties in the UK to develop friendships with? I don't really know anybody in the town in which I'm living.

 

The whole online dating thing IS a bit contrived, and it's easy to think you know the other person much better than you actually do - because you have a lot of information about them.

 

Apart from work, and friends of friends, the obvious thing to do is join groups based around your interests, or social activities such as dancing. There are Meetups in many towns in the UK covering just about everything imaginable. I once knew a guy who was a very keen folk dancer. He told me he realised at University that he'd have to get into folk dancing if he ever wanted to get to know the woman who subsequently became his wife! (I'm not suggesting folk dancing, by the way, just that this is one way of meeting members of the opposite sex who you can get to know socially with no other pressure!)

[RainyCoast]

i also cannot imagine dating any other way than organically. but it has never been a problems because i keep myself occupied and end up meeting people that way. i sound like a broken record when i keep saying try volunteering, but it has been how i got to know incredible people, made friends, met guys, got a lot of networking done, gather priceless learning experience and had a blast.

 

if you rarely meet women, it's high time to look for new activities.

 

with online dating, i think you get get acquainted with them sufficiently if you go on more dates, but of course, not with the ones you find clearly incompatible on the first date.

[Maggl]

If you wanna meet new people without a "dating"-setting, you could look for activity-sites that are active in your region. I also moved to a new city, and met some people through the website meetup - basically a bunch of groups with different hobbies in your city. I wasn't looking for anyone to date, but I am sure that is possible, since you more or less regularly can meet with a bunch of people with same interests. While I don't know if there's members from your area, there's certainly other similar websites out there

[Wiseman2]

You can join some groups or clubs or volunteer or take some classes, lessons etc where you encounter women regularly and see of you can develop rapport.

 

You can also continue on dating apps with a good profile and recent pics and start browsing and messaging women 25-32 who seem interesting and look good to you. Then you message them and meet for coffee and see if there is any connection. Unfortunately most people won't be on board with being friendzoned until you "become attracted", if they are interested in a romantic relationship.

 

The workplace is not a singles bar or dating site to wait and see if attraction develops with coworkers..

I feel like I have to have attraction build up like this otherwise it would just feel contrived. I've been on a couple of dates from internet sites, but it's basically meeting a stranger and I cannot feel 'attracted' to someone unless I know them. How do I meet girls around late twenties to mid thirties in the UK to develop friendships with?