What do I do in this situation and how do I go about it?

[zredbird]

Basic story here is me and my on/off again boyfriend have been seeing each other exclusively again for about a month and he was meant to come with me to prom and everything but the last time we spoke was last Wednesday. I thought I'd let him message me first because I wanted to see if he actually cared enough as on Wednesday when I saw him he was acting really off and weird with me, but he didn't. On Saturday I saw on his instagram he'd deleted the photo he had of us on there so I messaged him asking if we're over and got 5 messages from him saying he got with someone the night before and doesn't think I'd want to be with him anymore. I of course was fuming, but I didn't react and just told him to meet me. He kept saying like oh i dont know so I just told him to forget it and that I don't care, and he then asked to meet the next day. I had to pick him up from his friends and take him back as he was stuck there so I said I only would if he paid me petrol money and he agreed. So we parked by his and I straight up said I don't want to be with him as he obviously doesn't respect me and has changed so much from the boy I fell in love with and want to be with someone who respects me and treats me right, which isn't him. He tried to justify himself by saying he thought we weren't together as we hadn't spoken and he was waiting for me to talk to him but I said that was no excuse and completely went off on one saying how done I am completely done. When I'd finished he sat there looking down and i said have you got anything else to say and he said no so i said okay bye and he got out the car. I shouted after him can I have my money and he ignored me, but then messaged me later saying he'll give it to me next time he sees me and tried to add my snapchat but I ignored both. He then texted me twice the next day and said can we just stop this because he'll change and I ignored again. The next day he messaged me again saying he wants to see me with a sad emoji and I ignored. He then rang me later and I declined but rang me again so I decided to answer. He sounded like he was almost crying and said hes so sorry and really wants to change and make me happy and that he will do anything to make it right. I started saying he said he'd change before and hadn't but he said he'd realized now how hes been a , and I just said he can go ahead and try and prove himself to me and my friends. He then messaged two of my best friends saying he's sorry for how he's treated me and I'm really special to him and he wants a chance to prove to them and me who he really is and he can really change and treat me right. My best friend replied basically telling him to off and it was too late, and being the hot head he is he got annoyed and said hes never liked her and that shes not a good friend to me (they've always had conflict as their personalities clash so much, she's VERY brutal and can be quite harsh and that doesn't bode well with him). So I got annoyed he'd insulted her and he just said to me he doesnt care what anyone else thinks he just wants to be with me and its my choice and I said no that its his choice to change and he said hes trying and I ignored. Today around 5pm he messaged me asking how my day was and I ignored, he then messaged me saying hes sorry and I ignored and then sent me a video of him and his dog with him posing very obviously trying to look good and I ignored again. I want him back so badly its killing me not going back to him straight away but I just don't know what to do and how to go about this situation, can someone please give me advice? sorry I know this is so long

[Wiseman2]

Stop playing games.

[ParisPaulette]

You need to dump this guy. He's playing "Oh, but I thought," when he knew he was cheating on you.

 

If you want someone to respect and treat you right, just like you told him, then you need to understand it won't be this guy. Ever. So end it and walk away and stop taking him back or trying to get him to be who he isn't.

 

The fact is someone shouldn't have to be given chance after chance to decide later down the line, "Oh, I should have treated her right in the first place." He didn't before even though he more than knew how. Plus now insulting your friend when she calls him on his crap? Yeah, nope. Do not go back to this guy. Friends are forever, boys can be replaced.

 

Besides he'll go right back to mistreating you and cheating once you take him back and he realizes he's "got you" again. If they're going to treat you right, and mean it, they do it all along. Not after they realize you won't put up with their mistreatment. Stay NC, heal, move on. You can do much, much better than someone who cheats on you then tries to blame you for it. And then gets mad at your best friend when they tell him he's wrong.

 

Think about it.

 

P.S. He also owes you money and lied about that remember, plus he's said this before. My guess is things didn't work out with the other girl, but if they had he would not give you the time of day. So he's a cheater and a liar on top of everything else. Saying, "I'll change" is not changing. It's called empty promises over something they should not have to do in the first place - it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out how to treat another person well.