Why Me?!!

[LuvthatDaleJR]

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum and need some serious advice. First off let me introduce my self, my name is Erica, I have been married for 5 years and have 3 kids( 2 w/ my ex; 1 w/ my husband) that I truly love.

 

What my problem is that my oldest son has started baseball and well my ex is his coach(and his dad). All of these feelings that I thought I have gotten over have been flooding back in! I don't know if he feels the same way or not but this is really bothering me. I know that it is wrong to feel this way but this man was my 1st EVERYTHING! We just grew apart and he treated me like a princess in ways my current husband hasnt. I feel like I should be kicking myself in the a** for feeling this way . I miss this man so much! IT breaks my heart to see him with his current girlfriend, she is so sorry and not worth a crap and he says he is only with her because he messed up by loosing me and his kids. I love my husband dearly and would never act on these feelings, but it is sooo hard not to. If you could just see the way he looks and acts towards me. What is so bad is that my current husband and him have become good friends and he is around us a lot and that doesn't help me. What can I do to stop these feelings? I hate feeling this way. Any good advice would be appreciated!

Thanks in advance.

[SouthernSon]

I love my husband dearly and would never act on these feelings

 

Haven't you already come up with your own solution to this problem then? I'm not going to candy coat this, but maybe you should act like a mature adult and mother and realize what it takes to make a relationship work with someone, and right now that relationship is with your current husband and you made a committment to him.

[justsweetgirl]

I agree. Every time you see this man, remind yourself of one of your husband's good qualities. Your ex became your ex because there were problems, right? Remind yourself of those. You see in this other man what you believe your husband lacks. But he is not perfect either. I think the problem is with your home life. Maybe you are not feeling fulfilled. This man is the perfect foil. Instead of working on your marriage, you can fantasize about someone unattainable - which requires no work whatsoever. I think you want to be rescued, when, in fact, you need to do the rescuing yourself and improve your marriage. Start with a heart-to-heart with your husband about where your needs are not being met and what you both can do to help. Good luck.

[LuvthatDaleJR]

Thanks everyone...I understand what you are saying. I know I made that commitment to my husband but it is so hard considering what all he has put me thru. My ex and I didn't break up because of problems, we just were young and was wanting to see what was out there and by the time he saw that he couldn't find any better, I was already taken. I guess in a way I am scared of being alone. My husband could tell that there were feelings there between me and my ex but he said that it was understandable since considering he was my 1st and that we have kids together, I was shocked that he understood this. I am just going to sum it all up as, My ex will always have a place in my heart, and not in my life except as the father to my kids. I am going to have to accept that and move on and love my husband and keep my vows to him. Thanks again for the advice.