Letter to my dear ex , who I still love and want back.

[confusedandlost1]

I am sorry I pushed you away, sorry I made you cry, sorry that I couldn't keep my promise of keeping you happy for the rest of our life.

 

You were sweet , kind, and loving to me. You made me feel alive. You made me feel love and showed me that I am capable of love.

 

But I let my insecurities get the best of me. I called you a liar, I stopped trusting you. I yelled at you and treated you the opposite of how a girlfriend should be treated. I never told you that I suffer from depression. I never told you that I have trust issues, that I am not good at building relationships or keeping them. I never told you I have low self esteem and confidence, because I was scared to lose you and that if you found out you would not want to be with me. But alas you found that out by how I acted. By how I reacted . By acting all arrogant and cocky at first and a whiny and clingy person towards the end.

 

You see I never thought you would leave me. I thought you would understand me. But that never happened. You started to give up on me. Your texts came later than normal. Your behavior changed. You stopped returning my calls and would go days without talking to me. All this time my insecurities kept getting worse, my anger kept building and my patience kept growing thin. But you never had the courage to end it and neither did I. We said we will keep working on our issues.

 

I never meant to hurt you. But I did. And you hurt me. We got trapped in a vicious cycle of resentment and hurting each other. But each time I never stopped loving you. I still had hope that you would come around but each time I texted you and called you, my heart would get broken over and over again from your lack of communication, and compassion.

 

You promised me that you wouldn't give up but you gave up on us very quickly. I know I'm not perfect and I have issues that need to be worked on, I didn't deserve to be treated the way you treated me. But I still kept coming back to you. I didn't have the courage to stick to my words. You lost respect for me, I felt it and noticed on. I never begged for you but I did act clingy, needy, pushy. I threw anger fits , I sent you love notes ..I was losing my mind and losing control.. Far from the way I normally am. But it was your actions that turned me into such an ugly person.

 

But in reality, that is the real me. I put a fake persona to hide who I am. I thought I could hide it like I've done all my life, but the reality is, I never have been able to hide it. My friends​ and family have put up with my behavior but you couldn't. I understand why you backed off. But I just wished you tried to understand me. You just kept pushing me away and focused on yourself rather than us.

 

Despite all this and the fact that you returned the ring I gave you, I still wish you would come back. I feel like a drug addict going through a withdrawal, I feel like I need you in ​my life just like how a crack fiend needs his fix. I wish I could stop feeling this way but I can't . I am trying my hardest.

 

I wish you the best in life. I will always love you.

[Dominique]

Amazing letter. Very reflective. I hope u are able to work on your issues and let someone in your life and treat each other with mutual respect and love. In the meantime.... I wish you healing for your broken heart. Broken hearts are so painful and so miserable.

[confusedandlost1]

Amazing letter. Very reflective. I hope u are able to work on your issues and let someone in your life and treat each other with mutual respect and love. In the meantime.... I wish you healing for your broken heart. Broken hearts are so painful and so miserable.

 

Thank you. I wanted to write that in an email but then I stopped myself. It took a lot of effort to hit the cancel button.

 

But the whole experience has been a real eye opener for me. I know I need to improve myself. I've been hiding it for too long. I'm planning to see a psychologist to help me feel better about myself.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent you wrote all this out and even better you had the self-restraint not to send it. It's quite reflective. Bring it to the psychologist to start the discussion.

Thank you. I wanted to write that in an email but then I stopped myself. It took a lot of effort to hit the cancel button. I'm planning to see a psychologist to help me feel better about myself.

[Dominique]

Thank you. I wanted to write that in an email but then I stopped myself. It took a lot of effort to hit the cancel button.

 

But the whole experience has been a real eye opener for me. I know I need to improve myself. I've been hiding it for too long. I'm planning to see a psychologist to help me feel better about myself.

 

You are doing well. Seeking help and admitting your side of things is a good step. U should be proud you never sent that letter. That's also good. Purging your feelings without dumping them on your ex is an excellent way to start to get to the other side of hurt.

[hrb23]

I could say the exact same things in a letter to my ex also. But it's good that we don't. They know all these things already, they were in the relationship too. It's nice to let them all out of your system though. It really is a beautiful letter. Keep it for yourself. Use it as a momentum of how far I'm sure you'll have come a year from now.