Just Finished with GF of 2 years - I instigated it and she ended it

[regulardudeguy]

Hi all,

 

I have posted on here before about issues in my relationship.

 

I have been upset with my girlfriend and we had a chat whereby I was extremely rude to her and made her upset. The main crux of what I was saying was that I could not get on with her family as we had no commonality and she said she understood but that she had to put her family first. When we first started talking she had stated that there were family issues including the fact a number of them did not work and that she did not have a father. I am not a complete snob but I do not have much in common with them and if we had children I would have reservations about them spending time with certain members of her family. Is that completely unreasonable?

 

Throughout she was dignified and not rude. In addition, we hugged on her way out after which i was screaming uncontrollably and crying. She did not once say anything offensive but genuinely believed we are too different to carry on. I can tell she's heartbroken too just as much as I am.

 

We have been together for two years and she has lived with me during this time. We have been pretty much inseperable during this time and it is only the last few months that there has been any problems.

 

Fundamentally, I have bought a house under pressure from my parents that I did not want to. This has made me pretty depressed and down in the dumps. Moreover, my social circle includes a lot of high net worth individuals who want for nothing financially, which has made me feel that way before. I own a business and am relatively successful with that but I feel like nothing is ever good enough and that I always want more.

 

My main question now is, is this just a reaction to what has happened? I genuniely don't think it's as simple as that. I now appreciate what I had with her and want her back which I know is completely ridiculous. Should I even have the right?

 

I was thinking about potentially leaving it a few days then contacting her mother to speak to her about any issues that i may have and see if there's a way forward. Part of me thinks it's completely futile and that she has gone and I've blown it though.

[Hollyj]

The problem still exists. I don't understand??

 

You knew who her family was, early on. I don't understand why you carried this on for so long?

 

Reading a previous thread, you seem to believe you are above many. It does not sound like you respect your gf, or her family.

 

You are not compatible. Move on.

[Clio]

Let her go. What made you break up is still there. Seek individual counseling as it sounds like you have too many issues with your own family making you depressed. You have nothing to offer her at this point. You first need to fix what's broken inside of you.

[catfeeder]

Why would you involve her mother? That makes no sense.

[MissCanuck]

Do not get her mom involved. That's not appropriate and I would be very upset if an ex tried to do so. It's really over-stepping a boundary.

 

You need to address your own feelings of inadequacy and depression before you can offer anyone a healthy relationship. Begin there. It sounds like you need to, for your own well-being.