I think my friend likes me, but she has BF

[oikofugic]

I have never posted in here before, but i figured it was worth a shot. I have been in a few relationships with guys, but I never really feel anything. I am much more attracted to women, both emotionally and physically. I have never acted on this though, all of the girls I am attracted to either have boyfriends or I am pretty sure they are straight.

But lately things have been getting interesting.

 

 

 

One of my friends has a BF and we have been taking pics all week to make him a calendar. She chose me as her photographer though we have only known eachother a short time. So basically I've been seeing her naked for a week, and we sleep in the same bed and she hugs and kisses me all the time (while she is naked). She even made a comment that we shouldnt get drunk together because things might go too far. We have alot in common and have gotten very close emotionally in a very short time. I love how we can trust eachother and how we help eachother out so much, we refer to eachother as "soul mates". But she has a BF and all of this has been for him. To make him this calendar. The whole thing really confuses me. I think i love her, and I think she loves me too. I dont know what to do. I dont want to ruin what is there, but i am also insanely jealous of her BF and want to know if I have a chance.

 

Please Help. I hope you can get through my jumbled mess of thoughts. Thanks

[QTpie87]

I would tell her that you have been wondering about it. Does she know you like girls? I think it sounds like she likes you, but the bf thing complicates and confuses the situation.

QTpie87

[oikofugic]

no, she doesn't know. Only my best guy friend knows. It's easier to tell guys cause they think it's hot.

 

I don't know how i would come out and ask. Today is my bday and last night we were out together and we were discussing what we should do for my b-day, and she says "we could make out" I completely laughed it off and said that i didnt think her BF would appreciate it. She agreed. And so the subject was done. I don't know how i can find out how she feels about being les/bi without it being obvious that I AM and ruining everything. Right now we can "do" alot because we atleast pretend that nothing will come of it. If she knows the truth, it may make her back way off and I dont want to lose her at all.

[QTpie87]

It sounds to me like she just may be hiting on the fact that she is bi.

I'm not sure how to bring it up. Im bi and so are my two best friends but we aren't attracted to eachother and they were the first ones to say that they were bi. How do you think you would want to tell her, or the safest way. maybe you could start a convo about how you feel about people being bi/les because that will most likely bring out weither she is or not.

[Channy1727]

wow, your situtation even tho it sounds complicated, it does sound extrmely hot! lol

well i did go thru that once, but i was really young which did make it weird for me. i was about 13, i never counted this as a lesbian experience cause i never did anything about it. basically, two of my friends andi had sleepovers for like a week straight and every night they would lie on either side of me and hold me a dn kiss me and stuff. i wasnt sure i was into girls at the time, but it certainly sped up the process. i didnt tell them or anythiung that i was starting to get attracted to them. its like for eg, you can tell someone you hate them or completely ignore them and you two can have the best sex in the world, whereas you tell them you love them, and you probably would never hear from them again. she has a bf and i know your jealouse, but trust me if shes hitting on you the way you say she is! dont say no! like when you said " i dont think your bf would appreciate it" if you two made out, big mistake, she was making the moves! never ever think of her bf again! especially when she makes moves on you. just nod or say yeh sure and laugh or some thing, just so she has an idea that your interested,it could get things alot more fun for you....

[oikofugic]

Thanks guys,

 

lol, it really is hot. She is hot. The only problem I have with not thinking about her BF is that I don't want to ruin things for her. I mean, if she is happy with him I don't want to make her do something she will regret. I can wait, I know that she cares for me very deeply and that wont change unless i do something to push her away.

[justsweetgirl]

I don't think you would have initiated any of this, knowing she has a bf. And she chose you to be the photographer of her intimate pics after knowing you only a short time. Why would she unless she was interested in you? Sounds premeditated to me. I think she is young and experimenting and enjoying her time with you. I only hope you do not get hurt, as it doesn't sound like her bf is going anywhere anytime soon. I don't think this is about labels so much as, what are her intentions for you as a person, a person who now cares deeply for her? Does she want it to lead to something more, or is it just a fling? You need to ask the hard questions. Good luck.

[oikofugic]

justsweetgirl,

YOu're right, I didn't initiate any of it. And I have been very careful not to do anything that would get her in trouble with her boyfriend. THis isn't all about being physically attracted to eachother. The way she talks to me and cares about me really makes me feel good. I know she cares for me as much as i do her. So i think it's best to leave it at that, and be her best friend. Or do you think I could be missing out on something more but not showing her I like her?

[Cadence308]

Everyone made some great points. You are analyzing things and rightfully so, you want to know if this person is as into you as you are into her. I agree with justsweetgirl and you need to find out where this is going and if she just sees you as a fling. It doesn't sound like she's going to go running off because you are attracted to her in that way. If she does, you don't need her as a gf or a lover.

 

It sounds like she sees homosexuals in a favorable way, but you need to find out for sure. Next time she is pulling the moves on you and suggesting that you two kiss and make out, ask her if she's ever kissed another woman or made out with another woman. You need to be more inquisitive to get the answers that you want. See what she says. If the answer is yes, then ask her if she's ever been in a relationship with someone of the same sex or what she thinks about lesbians/gays. Then ask her if you two make out where she sees that as going, if it's just a one time deal or if she has feelings for you. You need to get asking to find out the answers.

 

It sounds like she is interested.

 

Good luck and tell us what she says!

[justsweetgirl]

I think you've already shown her you like her. And vice versa. But, since she is the one already in a relationship and seemingly content to stay that way, you have to ask some necessary questions. Otherwise, this is a potential minefield where you drive yourself crazy trying to decipher what is safe to say and do and what is not, worrying you'll mess up and scare her off. Without a crystal ball, she holds all the cards and you hold none. You need to know where you stand.

[oikofugic]

i suppose you guys are right. It will be hard to do though, I almost think I'd rather not know. She wants me to be the one to give her BF the calendar tonight, I haven't met him yet. But when I hear them on the phone he sounds like a jerk. I guess for tonight I'll just see how they are together. i think I'll be able to tell if she really cares for him like she does me.

[oikofugic]

Alright, so the calendar wasn't ready for tonight. We went out to eat and she met a couple of my friends. But things are getting crazy. Saturday night I mixed Vodka and Vicodine and was really really messed up, I could't even walk. So apparently I wrote her a note that night and her BF found it last night and woke her at 3am saying she has some explaining to do. He doesnt believe her that it's from me and not a guy. So there is a lot of tension between them and i feel like I am causing it all. we've started referring to me as "the home-wrecker". I hate it. I am almost positive now that nothing good will come of this. we need to just be friends, but that's hard for me to do when she is so physical with me. I wouldn't hold her hand or anything while we were out because i know how much trouble i am causing. She still kissed me goodbye though. so...yeah, thats all i got. I am meeting her BF tomorrow night, hopefully all will go well.

[Channy1727]

what exactly do you think that note said?? and does she also refer to you as the "home -wrecker"? if so thats not nice. lol by the way i think you should be a lil less discreet about what you do or say when your drunk since you have so many feelings that your hiding lol not a good idea to do stuff you dont remember.but i have to admit, sounds pretty funny. sorry tho. well yeh be her friend and ask is there anything you can do to help her relationship with him? just so she knows how bad you feel. but if he found the note, did your friend read it too? does she know how you feel now?

[oikofugic]

I read the note and it wasn't that bad at all. I basically said that I care about her and that i don't want to mess things up at all. She is not upset at all about it because it was a sweet note and she knows that I care about her, even if she doesnt know how much.

Yesterday I kissed her neck while she was holding me (she is usually the one who kisses me) I was worried for a second but then she said "That's the first time you've kissed me....do it again" so i did.

[Channy1727]

haha the mess with her bf doesnt see, to bug her that much!! good for you! but seriously dont kiss her to much, make her come to you, so that she never has the chance to take you for granted! seriously, just surprise her now and again, not all the time, make her start kissing you first!

[rodrigo]

Nah, forget my opinion here (down there)... I had another page to read and wasn't up to that last part.

 

It got a little messed up, yes, but it seems things are working nice for you. My reaction to that (fr a straight p.o.v) would be... weirdness, I think. I'm handing my girl to another girl. Better than to another guy, I think, but it's just stupid manhood talking here.

 

Just please don't feel guilty for that if she loves you back. It just means it wasn't supposed to go right with him, but with you. Do you know her real feelings for you, already? Any solid clues?

 

 

---

Hey, hi, I'm new to this. Please, take this from a straight guy from "an exotic country" (I thought maybe this was necessary, maybe not, I don't know).

 

I think you could open up to her very casually, you know, honestly without being dramatic about it. When the moment is appropriate (very hard to tell), you can go with "Hey, do you know I like girls?" just like someone who says "Hey, do you know that bakery in Queens?"

 

Let's hear what she has to say about it (if she does), since you didn't confess you love her or anything like that. Consider some scenarios:

 

1- it's ok with her, not good not bad. Maybe you still have a problem to solve (telling her about your feelings), but at least one step is gone.

 

2- she doesn't like it at all (doesn't seem to be the case). Well, same ol' movin on with your life. What else to do? If this is the case, then probably everything that came before was fake and you don't need that, do you?

 

3- she likes you being honest with her and gives room for more talking into that. Maybe with this you can create a good moment to tell her it all, no?

 

4- she loves the fact, and then tells you she wasn't sure before, but now she knows and she loves you back. What's wrong with that, huh?

 

Sorry if I'm being nosy and/or silly and/or a lot of other stuff...

[oikofugic]

I think I will be open, but now is not the time. I think she needs to figure out what she wants with her BF on her own before i throw in yet another wrench. There is a lot of stress right now between the 3 of us and i think i should back off for awhile. The last thing i want is to hurt her or chase her away. I know our friendship will stay strong and if she wants anything more...well she's not shy. She used to be the instigator and now i feel clingy i kinda want to see if she will still instigate if i back off a bit. Those are just my thoughts at the moment, it will probably all change when i see her tomorrow. who knows. Let me know if im being retarded

[oikofugic]

rodrigo,

as for solid clues. I know forsure from the way she treats and talks to me that she cares about me alot. I told her that i have trouble getting close to people and i get worried about depending on people. She asked how I explain what's happening between us. She also said that whatever issues I have we will work through them together and that she will help me and that she knows i will help her. she went through all the reasons she is lucky to have me in her life etc... another big clue...she wakes me up in the AM by crawling in bed naked with me....the first time i kissed her neck, she said do it again....she leaves her door unlocked for me at night so i can come sleep with her anytime i want and she loves that I'll come surprise her at 2am.

[rodrigo]

Yes, I too think those are pretty solid. You're on your way, I think.

 

Now we just hope and pray, and please give us news when they come up, ok?

[darkness0204]

Yes and I also agree with everyone else myself lol.. If shes throwing moves at you jus go wit the flow dont down play the situation by asking about her bf. Bc if she was so concerned she wouldnt be askin to make out with you lol we can all agree that shes throwing you hints that shes feeling you. But think of it as if she was a guy bc dealing wit gurls is almost the same. So what you can do is jus flirt wit her.. but dont make big moves or make it obvious. Bc gurls are very open you will kno what she wants when you take time to find out you jus have to go about it the right way. But dont "pressure the issue just let it be, and if you to need to be wit me... well lets see"

 

Maybe she just wants to have sum fun!

[someguy69]

Tough call...

 

On one hand... they say "all's fair in love and war" -- and it obviously sounds like she's into you pretty strongly.

 

On the other hand, it's not too nice to her bf to steal away his girl, especially when she's making him a birthday present.

 

The best plan would be to involve the boyfriend. Then it will all be guilt free -- no cheating involved.

 

Maybe that's what she's working up to... a special two-girl birthday surprise for her boyfriend?

[oikofugic]

his birthday is over. He has the calendar and things are getting better between them. I still have not met him. I'm not sure if we want to meet eachother at all. I guess we'll just see what happens.

[Cadence308]

Maybe it's not a good idea to meet her bf.

 

When I read that she was getting into bed naked with you at night that sounds like a big clue that she's either really into you or really wanting to have some fun with you. I can't say I've ever had "just a friend" get into bed naked with me before. I don't know how you are holding back like you are. Reading about her teasing you is making me hot!

[oikofugic]

lol...i know, it's hot, right? BUt it's possible that she is just really comfortable with her body. I don't want to ruin things. I don't know how to act/react. If she didn't have her BF i would probably explore things a bit farther.

[oikofugic]

oooohhh...i was just thinking and i think i thought of something lol. I may just be over analyzing, but here goes.

 

I told you before about a comment she made about how we shouldnt get drunk together cause of what we might do together....well tonight we went out to dinner and we were talking about being drunk, and she suggested that i spend the night together tonight and that we drink. Then she said she doesnt think people do that crazy of things when they are drunk, they just have the nerve to do and say what they really want.

 

Am I crazy? or should i be excited about what may go on tonight???