Other girls....

[beachieca]

My boyfriend has a couple of female friends and with one of them he has a sort of "past" i guess you could say (they used to talk a lot, they've kissed and she used to really like him). She lives in a different state but they went to high school together and keep in touch. At first it really bothered me and i would get jealous. Now it's not a big deal at all...i trust him and we've talked about it to the point where i'm comfortable with it and he says he understands how i feel. They used to talk a lot, and don't so much anymore because he knows i don't really like it too much. But she flirts with him and it drives me crazy...i hate it. I don't make a big deal about it but i really do not like it. I know that there isn't anything that I can really do...but maybe just some advice/thoughts would be helpful.

[CarrieB123]

If I were in your position, I wouldnt hesitate giving her a nasty/taken back look, like "wow, is that really appropriate, you talking and flirting with my man like that" kind of look, get what I mean?

[beachieca]

I totally get what you mean...and i've done that. So now, she does it over the internet. I'm seriously like "what?!" and then he has this ex that is seriously psycho...she must have something wrong with her. They broke up about a year and a half ago and she still calls him...he never answers or talks to her, she leaves messages and still acts like they have something. She's totally full of herself and can't believe that a man doesn't want her (you know they type i'm sure =) and leaves messages constantly. I picked up the phone one night when my guy and i were together (he was cool with it) and talked to her. Oh my gosh...what a little witch....the way she talked to me was very rude etc. I was really getting mad so i ended up just ending it short thinking that i had done enough and it would stop....and it did for a few weeks...and then it started again. Is there anything at all i should do? He hates it just as much as i do.

[CarrieB123]

I can understand your frustration, but you have to keep in mind, that your guy may act somewhat different to these girls when your not around. I am not saying he is cheating or anything, but you just never can be 100% sure. When you talked to this ex g/f what did she say? And if I were you I would say to your guy, "either you need to clear this up or I am out of here you need to put my feelings before theirs."

[providentielle]

Have to say I agree with carrie, would you keep calling someone for a year and a half if you were getting no encouragement?

[DN]

But say it in a way that makes want to help you not in an attacking way. You can often get what you want from someone who loves you by saying it in a way that makes it about what you need rather than in a way that makes him feel like a bad boyfriend. So, instead of saying "If you lovedme you would tell her to stop flirting with you", you can say "I feel hurt when they flirt with you because it is disrespectful to me and if you were to tell them to stop it would help me realise how much you love me".

[beachieca]

I totally get what you guys are saying and thank you. I've thought about the fact that he couldn't be telling me the truth but i really don't think that he would do that. I've just told him that i would want him to call her and tell to stop while we're together...

[jaiva]

I agree with most of what was previously stated. But my BF has a chick that calls him often and he practically curses her out everytime she calls and hangs up on her and she still continues to call. So your BF might be telling her that he doesn't want to converse with her but she continues to call.

 

Hope I helped!

 

Jaiva

[Hope75]

How about getting caller ID and just not answering when she calls.....ever?

 

Eventually if she gets no feedback/encouragement to keep calling, (and yes, angry arguments can still be encouraging to some people, strangely enough) then hopefully she will stop.