Am I in the Wrong?

[Furrehjohnson]

On January 20th my ex girlfriend broke up with me. She said that she had fallen out of love with me back in October of the previous year. I was not the most observant person to see this happening. Even though I saw her befriending another guy and she started spending more time with him then me. They had even gone to see a movie together and she lied to me about bringing her brother with her. A week and a half after the break up she is now with this guy. before the break up she had convinced me to quit my job and focus on school. College stated for me on January 17th. She said she still wanted to live in the apartment with me and my mother who had moved in due to financial problems on me and my ex's end. When I found out about the new relationship she had made and who it was with I kicked her out. I only accepted her living with me because there was a hope in me that maybe she could love me again. I couldn't move on with her that close and with her moving on so quickly. I do not know if I was in the wrong. I felt trapped by her and the situation. She tried to come back and take the cat we had gotten together away from me. This cat was the only thing there all the days my ex was out with this other guy or off doing her own thing not wanting to come home. I paid for the cats food, litter, and to get her fixed, but my ex said she would come in and take her away while I was gone. I had to change the locks because of this. But even still I do not know if what I did was right? I constantly think back of ways things could have gone different or maybe better. I am responsible for dragging my mother out of her home and into this messed up situation. I cannot afford to life here even with my mothers help and my financial aid is the only source of money I have coming in so quitting school is not an option otherwise I loose even that.

[Wiseman2]

How long have you been dating? If she was cheating and sort of slid into dating this other guy it was the best thing to kick her out.

 

When you breakup it's over. You don't stay roommates because of money or cats or whatever.

 

Excellent you changed the locks. Get a roommate. Get your job back or get a new one. Stop talking to her and delete and block her from all social media.

They had even gone to see a movie together and she lied to me about bringing her brother with her. A week and a half after the break up she is now with this guy. I kicked her out. my ex said she would come in and take her away while I was gone. I had to change the locks because of this. I cannot afford to life here even with my mothers help and my financial aid

[vesper]

On January 20th my ex girlfriend broke up with me. She said that she had fallen out of love with me back in October of the previous year. I was not the most observant person to see this happening. Even though I saw her befriending another guy and she started spending more time with him then me. They had even gone to see a movie together and she lied to me about bringing her brother with her. A week and a half after the break up she is now with this guy. before the break up she had convinced me to quit my job and focus on school. College stated for me on January 17th. She said she still wanted to live in the apartment with me and my mother who had moved in due to financial problems on me and my ex's end. When I found out about the new relationship she had made and who it was with I kicked her out. I only accepted her living with me because there was a hope in me that maybe she could love me again. I couldn't move on with her that close and with her moving on so quickly. I do not know if I was in the wrong. I felt trapped by her and the situation. She tried to come back and take the cat we had gotten together away from me. This cat was the only thing there all the days my ex was out with this other guy or off doing her own thing not wanting to come home. I paid for the cats food, litter, and to get her fixed, but my ex said she would come in and take her away while I was gone. I had to change the locks because of this. But even still I do not know if what I did was right? I constantly think back of ways things could have gone different or maybe better. I am responsible for dragging my mother out of her home and into this messed up situation. I cannot afford to life here even with my mothers help and my financial aid is the only source of money I have coming in so quitting school is not an option otherwise I loose even that.

 

maybe kicking her out was a bad idea and also changing the locks. You could have stayed civil towards her. Not to let your own desires and wants cloud your judgement. That course of actions would also have probably made you seem more attractive to her otherwise now she just feels a void. Sorry to be so harsh, but I dont think you have a chance of getting her back now. You have burned a bridge that could take YEARS to rebuild. 5 or so maybe

[JaggerJim]

No you did the right thing. She has a new man, so there is no need for her to be living with you.

 

As for the cat, I wouldn't give her the cat either! What a cheek to say that she would come and get it when your not there. Says everything about her right there.

[JaggerJim]

maybe kicking her out was a bad idea and also changing the locks. You could have stayed civil towards her. Not to let your own desires and wants cloud your judgement. That course of actions would also have probably made you seem more attractive to her otherwise now she just feels a void. Sorry to be so harsh, but I dont think you have a chance of getting her back now. You have burned a bridge that could take YEARS to rebuild. 5 or so maybe

 

I sooooooooo disagree with this. She was a cheater!

[Wiseman2]

Yep, housing a cheater who threatens to kidnap your pet is crazy.

I sooooooooo disagree with this. She was a cheater!

[vesper]

I sooooooooo disagree with this. She was a cheater!

 

Just going to a movie with someone is not constituted as cheating. He could have just silenced his desire to be mad at her and instead acted kindly towards her. Have you heard of the statement KILL IT WITH KINDNESS? Thats how they do things here in Texas. Just take the high road.

[JaggerJim]

Just going to a movie with someone is not constituted as cheating. He could have just silenced his desire to be mad at her and instead acted kindly towards her. Have you heard of the statement KILL IT WITH KINDNESS? Thats how they do things here in Texas. Just take the high road.

 

Not sure if your having a laugh here, but she lied to him and said she was taking her brother. Then she left him for the new guy. She was pre-setting up a new relationship. I'm not sure if you can see that.

[JaggerJim]

]

 

If your cat hears movement outside the door, that isn't you.

[vesper]

I am not really sure what you mean by this cat video and I also still dont see it as cheating. MAYBE, I guess I could be wrong.

[Dahl]

 

As for the cat, I wouldn't give her the cat either! What a cheek to say that she would come and get it when your not there. Says everything about her right there.

 

I could not agree more strenuously.

[Furrehjohnson]

How long have you been dating? If she was cheating and sort of slid into dating this other guy it was the best thing to kick her out.

 

When you breakup it's over. You don't stay roommates because of money or cats or whatever.

 

Excellent you changed the locks. Get a roommate. Get your job back or get a new one. Stop talking to her and delete and block her from all social media.

 

We would have been together for 3 years on February 12th.

[Furrehjohnson]

maybe kicking her out was a bad idea and also changing the locks. You could have stayed civil towards her. Not to let your own desires and wants cloud your judgement. That course of actions would also have probably made you seem more attractive to her otherwise now she just feels a void. Sorry to be so harsh, but I dont think you have a chance of getting her back now. You have burned a bridge that could take YEARS to rebuild. 5 or so maybe

 

I know that I made my mistakes, but When I kicked her out and changed the locks I had lost the will to try and win her back. I did this after she had started dating the other guy. Whether she had been cheating while we were still together or not was irrelevant to me. The fact that a week and half after the break up that she would immediately be with him was proof enough that the thoughts were in her head. Weirdly enough we had a mutual friend who was married. She was going through the same thing we were. Before this girl even told her husband that she wanted to split up she started seeing another guy. My ex defended her while I said that the husband at least deserves to know before you further a relationship. I didn't want to really admit it then but when she supported that behavior I lost a lot of trust in my ex then. That she might use the same logic to do that to me. My ex never told me anything. I still dont know anything about what happened from her side. All I know is that my ex at the end was not even the same person I started dating. She used to be a depressed person who was dealing with a lot of PTSD over a fire that had burned down her home years before we got together. I tried to always be there for her. If she started talking about hurting herself or that she didn't want to be alone I came right to her. When she moved in she started talking me she felt my friends didn't like her and she wanted to spend time with me. I know now it was a mistake but I sided with her and dropped those friends. I have one of them back now but because of it I started feeling alone. She was the only person I had now that I could talk to about my depression but when I finally did cry about how alone I felt is when she distanced. I told her I just lost touch with my friends and that they had changed and I didn't like who they became. I didn't tell her that I didn't just drop them but they all told me that they didn't like her and me around her. My previous roommates had left because they said they didn't like hearing her yell at me for hours then when they started hearing me yell back how she would start screaming for me to drop it. A month before she said that she no longer loved me is when I had told her that I was depressed and I felt abandoned and alone by my job, friends, and parts of my family. In October she started leaving all day. For those months we were together and she said she didn't love me anymore I saw her about 2 days. 2 days where she didn't have plans or we went on a date. Those 2 days were my birthday and Christmas. Like I said I know I made my mistakes and kicking her out and changing the locks might have been bad. That is why I asked. But when I did it I didn't want her to love me anymore because she wasn't the girl I fell in love with anymore.

[Wiseman2]

Be glad you are out of this mess with this cat-thief wannabe.

My previous roommates had left because they said they didn't like hearing her yell at me for hours then when they started hearing me yell back how she would start screaming for me to drop it.

[vesper]

But when I did it I didn't want her to love me anymore because she wasn't the girl I fell in love with anymore.

 

I think you have answered your own question here. I think you need a hug, dont worry about it and look to the future and endless possiblities of meeting someone else.