How bad is this?

[Amannamederic]

Ok, over spring break i had a little mental lapse and cheated on my girlfriend while she was in San Fransisco with a girl who seems to always be right there to tempt me. Even though its probably 100% my fault for allowing her to do so i gave in last night and saw her without the intent of cheating. However she was persistent and ended up giving me oral sex.

 

I'm not going to whine and cry about it but i do know there are things about my current relationship that make me extremely unhappy/bored but i look past because i figure that this sort of relationship is what i need since ive been in just physical relationships in the past. For the past 6 months er so she hasnt touched me once, we had a fireball period where she couldn't get enough of me but then one day she felt guilty and since then hasnt even tried with me, our sex life consists of only me giving her orgasm on command (yeah ive done it so many times i know exactly what happens when she does it lol so that isnt just me being arrogant).

 

Shes a god-fearing lady and has often tried to convert me to her religion which i dont really want but whatever i like her shes nice, and innocent, and funny, all things i value above my wanker's happiness. Ive talked to her about this before and she says to not pressure her and that it will happen when we are married but not before (im assuming this means any contact with me whatsoever) i know shes satisfied because i do it whenever im asked and i cant say no because i am a boy and thats my only link to intimacy.

 

I guess im just looking for an opinion that might be what im fearing...am i gunna go to hell for this?! lol i feel horrible about it so naturally thats going through my head but without any sort of contact in months...i dunno, give me opinions on the situation if you have them good/bad please.

 

-Eric

[Cecelius]

There's a ton of responses that I would give:

 

1) A dude your age should not be in a non-physical relationship. It just doesn't work.

 

2) YOU SHOULD NOT BE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE. Insane on its face. Both of you have enormous amounts of growing to do. And, as a man, consider that there is really no good reason why you should get married in the next decade and a half.

 

3) You talk about cheating like girls talk about cheating: somehow its not your fault, or your needs weren't being met, or you got pressured into it. Did she hold you at gunpoint and pull your drawers down? I doubt it. You cheated -- own up to it, acknowledge that at your age you're responsible for what you do and you cannot use the "confusion" defense that young ladies get to. it's unmanly.

 

4) If nothing else, this is, I think, your wake up call that you should get out of this relationship and either find someone else or just date around for a while. It's pretty clear that you can pick up girls (though the one you spoke about doesn't seem like G/F material); why lock yourself in now?

[Day_Walker]

This is completely a judgement call. Her religion wont allow her to have sex with you but yet you are giving her orgasms. Something about that just doesnt sound right, you cant have it both ways so if she was that dedicated then she wouldnt be having any type of sex what-so-ever. At 17 it seems scary that you are actually thinking about marriage to this girl. She may have the qualties that you are looking for but then again you are 17 and people wants/needs change as they get more mature.

 

At this point it would seem best for you to break it off, there are things in the relationship that you arent happy about. There isnt going to be a compromise on that issue because of her religion. So it would be best if you moved on from the situation.

[chai714]

I don't believe you had a mental lapse and cheated. Humans tend to justify their actions with reasons that sound good, then they believe them.

 

As a teen, you're in a great situation as there is a whole WORLD to explore. This includes dating multiple females at at time, playing sports, making memories with all of your buddies, and doing donuts in parking lots for no reason.

 

As far as being in a relationship with this female, it's clear that your differences with her are too great. She will continue to try to change you, while you will resist and your hormones will finally say, "enough is enough." Take the word "marriage" out of your vocabulary until you're done with college - ask any married person - they'll tell you to avoid marriage for as long as possible. It sounds funny, but most of them are serious when they say it, because they are on LOCKDOWN.

 

For now, enjoy life. Take a trip with your friends at the end of the schoolyear. Summer is just around the corner, and my friend told me that women wear less clothing in the summer. Is that true? Go find out for yourself.

[Amannamederic]

lol this is good stuff, marriage has been discussed but i suppose you guys are right, its worthless for a guy my age to be thinkin that right now.

 

Indeed, it was easy to start out with i wasnt even interested in doing anything (by product of months without) but then all of a sudden a hand was digging between my legs (she didnt waste time lol) and all of a sudden hormones/emotion rushed and i was like wwoooww what have i been missing so i broke.

 

She is a serious girl, a girl who wants to skip the 20's dating and go right to marriage, and with all the horror stories id heard maybe i thought that was right for me too...guess ive got some cool thinking to do, thanks for your help this gave me a much needed laugh.

 

-Eric

[Cecelius]

She may skip the 20s and go straight to marriage -- my prediction is that she'll be on this board or one like it in 15 years lamenting about never having a youth.

[justsweetgirl]

Honesty is, as always, the best policy. Let your gf know that a sexless relationship is unacceptable to you. If she will not budge, you need to get out of it. Cheating, however, should not be an option.

[Amannamederic]

i cant say that a sexless relationship isnt possible as it has been for the last 6 months or so...even though im not COMPLETELY happy im still happy and like her company alot, ill probably own up and tell her tho, thanks again

 

-Eric