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I want him but he doesn't want me


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Over the summer I went to my best friend's aunt's wedding and met her cousin. We instantly hit it off and two months later we started talking. We talked for four months and I got a range of emotions from him. He would always tell me to open up to him and tell him my intentions (which is hard for me to do), but then he started to distance himself from me. I thought we were on the right track as he was very affectionate towards me, but when I asked him what he was feeling, he said he figured we were just friends and that he didn't want a relationship. He claims he didn't want to be involved with someone in order to focus on school and that he also didn't really want anything after breaking up with his ex. I really wanted to be with him even though I'm annoyed he pulled me along for four months without any intention of making a relationship out of it. I still really want to be with him as he was the first person to show interest in me in my 20 years. I'm finding it hard to move past this as I keep giving myself false hope that he'll come back once school is out for the summer. And I also feel like I need closure or a deeper explanation but I don't want to sound attached and clingy to ask him a month after he told me he didn't want anything. What should I do to help myself?

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Sorry to hear it didn't work out. Not everyone we have a crush on or get along with evolves into a relationship. Fortunately he was straight up about his ex, school, etc. and not wanting a relationship.


How often did you see each other? Of course the best thing is no contact. Also get involved in school, work, colleagues, classmates, friends, family, clubs, groups, volunteer, etc.


Also put up a nice profile and pics on some dating apps and start messaging and meeting guys for low-key coffee. It will help remind you that he's not the last guy on earth.

We talked for four months
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