Lindsay783 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 My husband and I have been thru a rough patch. I have insecurity issues from my past and that has created problems because lately he has been acting weird. This Friday he took my car because his broke down and my cellphone was inside, my phone has a locator GPS on all the time and I decided to look. So when he called me we couldn't meet up for lunch I decide to look into the system with my computer. He was not at work the system pointed him out on a strange house close to his work for oh 15 minutes. When he called after work,I said I bump into you in the street and that he was not at work. He freaked out, saying how dare me, he was at work and that he was going to his mom for the night. I never revealed the GPS pointed him there. The next day he came home and said that because I accused him wrongly and our past issues he didn't love me anymore, I was dumbfounded then I heard him talking to his mom saying he fell out of love because I didn't trust him. I am heartbroken. I know the system pointed him there but I can't tell him. We have 2 children together. What should I do? Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 A phone specially if it's inside the car not on a mount on the windshield can give false locations. Link to comment
Lindsay783 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Oh my God really? It was on the back of the driver seat pocket Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Yep I wouldn't get all uppity about that. Using lies to try to catch your partner in one gets old very quickly and is extremely frustrating. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Wow....a whole 15 minutes.....I mean I've heard of quickies but wow....is you husband like a 2 second champion or something???.....Or maybe the GPS was pointing at roughly correct location, aka vicinity, but not being 100% accurate and your husband was actually at work and your accusation was the last straw that broke the camel's back and he has honestly had absolutely enough of this kind of insanity from you. So in an ironic twist, your worst fears are coming true by your very own design. Your out of control insecurities destroyed your marriage. As for what do you do? Well for starters stop pretending that you are normal and that all is good. Your husband has the right to tell his mother he has had it with you. Loss of face for you? Sure, them's the consequences. Anyway, how about you apologize to him, actually mean it, and tell him that you will go to counseling for your issues and first thing tomorrow morning, you actually set up your first appointment and make sure he knows it. Maybe if you actually show some real effort, with time and lots of work, you can actually salvage your marriage. Link to comment
Lindsay783 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Thank you I needed to hear that. Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I'm sorry you are hurting. Hang in. Has this happened before? A big, blow up fight, one of you ready to leave? Link to comment
Maye1 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Wow, I am so sorry that you're having to go through this horrible rough patch of yours and you have my deepest sympathies because I understand the pain that you're having to endure from hearing the words "I am not in love with you anymore"(currently dealing with this). So bear with me, I might not offer the best advice right now, but my focus will not be on the GPS situation, but on your husband and yourself. Rather than focussing on the GPS situation, I think the main focus and problems are coming from something much deeper, particularly because your husband has stated that he has fallen out of love, which is a big issue as love is precious and not something that can can be turned back on easily, even after time, there's that big chance it may never happen again. So even if we all spent our time here talking about the GPS situation, at the end of the day, that's not where these issues come from. And don't worry about him telling his mother, because he probably just wanted someone to talk to (which is a positive sign that he's talking to someone, especially that someone being his mother, imagine if it were someone else, or another woman!) You say that the problems are from your insecurities which originate from your past. If you're noticing that they're causing problems in your life, that's certainly something that needs to be attended to and not ignored. Because unfortunately, people have their limits, if you're finding that your problems are spilling into a relationship, then that's a red flag, I cannot stress that enough. You need to focus on these insecurities and work on a plan to fix them otherwise these horrible situations can keep reoccurring and that's something nobody wants, right? You want to live peacfully without these insecurities getting in the way of a marriage. Your husband sounds like he's been contemplating his feelings for a while and this situation might have just about done it for him. Even IF these allegations of potential "cheating" happen to be true, they still come from a broken person who's not at all happy. If you're still upset about the strange ways he has been acting, rather than going into attack mode, talk to him and ask him if things are okay? It's time you guys had a serious talk about these problems, and work on a plan to fix them or at least try to as you both have children. Maybe consider taking marriage counselling therapy and you can both talk about your problems together. The children are the main focus in all of this. You have my sympathy, I really do hope you get the utmost best outcome. Link to comment
rtyu4567 Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 My husband and I have been thru a rough patch. I have insecurity issues from my past and that has created problems because lately he has been acting weird. This Friday he took my car because his broke down and my cellphone was inside, my phone has a locator GPS on all the time and I decided to look. So when he called me we couldn't meet up for lunch I decide to look into the system with my computer. He was not at work the system pointed him out on a strange house close to his work for oh 15 minutes. When he called after work,I said I bump into you in the street and that he was not at work. He freaked out, saying how dare me, he was at work and that he was going to his mom for the night. I never revealed the GPS pointed him there. The next day he came home and said that because I accused him wrongly and our past issues he didn't love me anymore, I was dumbfounded then I heard him talking to his mom saying he fell out of love because I didn't trust him. I am heartbroken. I know the system pointed him there but I can't tell him. We have 2 children together. What should I do? Im sorry thay u r going through this. Acknowledging ur issues is a start in perhaps seeking counseling. Also, marriage counseling may be something for u both to consider if both parties agree. For now I would take a deep breath and one step at a time there is marriage, children and family involved as well as a whirl wind of emotions. Sort out your thoughts. Instead of reacting stay proactive toward a healthy solution for all in involved. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 gps?? those things can be dumb. my ex nearly drove into a river using one. that, and it once told him to drive out of state, which wasn't where he was going. ironically, i navigated us through the same trip the second time using nothing but google maps with ease. apologize and schedule counseling. has he ever, ever justified your suspicions? don't call, don't ask when he's coming home, and don't comment on what he is discussing with his mother. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 where were you when this happened, and was the rough patch to do with your insecurity or something else? in what ways has been acting weird? if you located him at some house, did you also check the address and resident's last name? something tells me you suspected before that a specific person was involved? if so did you have a reason for that other than your insecurity? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.