anyone had a year like that ???

[gizza]

I just dont fit anty catagory as far as i can see -

posted before -but in breif 3 things have happened that have left me devastated .............

 

 

devastation 1) ! had a relationship with a woman from work which lasted 6 years is was all in secret as she was married although separated but we didnt want all the office in on our little secret, then one day out the blue i go round her house to find a car i recognized in the driveway , i knocked the door but she came to an upstairs window & said i couldnt come in because the doctor was there & she was ill , she said this guy was leaving his car there whilst going away on business , he was in the house that moment waiting for a taxi. I had no chioce but to leave , phoned her the next day about 5 times , no answer - then asked her what was going on at work the next day , she says nothing & iam paraniod ........

anyway this went on for 3or4 months with him apparently leaving his car there for 1 night at a time , eventually she says she 'cant do this anymore' & i have to carry on seeing her & him at work! nearly sent me mental

 

devastation 2 ) although could have been a blessing i got made redundant from that job of 13years , apart from the situation above!! i had lots of friends ther it was well paid & i was settled in my role.

 

devastation 3) friend of a friend type situation in the summer i went to a bar-b-q & asked out this really nice girl , we went out for about 3 months and the she says she sees us being platonic friends & is really not into having a relationship at this point in her life ,although pissed off i give her some space & hope she see iam not putting any demands on her - about

a month she calls & says do you want to come round tonight i go & she annouces she 'wants to tell me she seeing someelse before i hear it from anyone else'

 

can you believe it !!!

 

i ve got a new job but after 6 weeks i feel no commitmnet to it & have not been able to make friends as iam the boss and cant be one of the lads, i mean how can a new boss tell staff hes totally devasted - i have to be strong & in command- my boss is probably thinking who is this miserible guy !

 

thats 2 girlfriends & 1 job in about a year , when i started by saying i dont fit any catagory , 1 break up was devastating , but 2 & losing me job as well has left me totally depressed.

 

friends are getting sick of me moaning about woman & dont even believe half the things i say - particulaly the most recent girl who i still like alot!!

 

this is without doubt the toughest point of my life - by the by i turned 40 as well this year -most of my friends are married & have no idea what its like being dumped twice !!!

 

anyone had a year like that ???

[Mun]

Actually I've had two years like that...but this is not my topic and I don't want to hijack ya

 

Hey I can't tell you things will get better for sure, but I can tell you that some of those things you have been through might just have been bad choices you made...and now you know better.

 

Maybe you hung around too long with that first gal when you already felt things were a bit off.... then got hurt anyway. This new girl.... what can I tell ya.. she just wasn't interested in your romantically. At least she told you and not let you keep on waiting for her--although that really doesn't help you feel better .

 

Maybe now at 40 you can see things a bit clearer than before and won't waste any more time on dead end relationships.

 

It is really never too late to start over in life and you're the boss.. that's actually a pretty good position to be in at your age. Congratulations!

 

I hope you feel better soon, and if you still wondering if anyone has had a bad year I invite you to look around the forums.. the folks here have been dealing with all kinds of ups and downs this past year, but we're surviving.. Remember you aren't alone in this.

 

Mun

[volution]

Sounds like my whole life

At least you can take consolation in the fact that someone somewhere out there is suffering much worse than you! (Like me!)

[gizza]

i know others have it alot worse , all sorts of horrible illness etc

 

& yer right i dont think anyones actaully said congratulations on the job

 

& yer right about the first girl i know she was messing with my head , kept me stringing along but i stuck around basically because she was pretty & i always fancied her

 

second girl i do like & i guess at least these been a second girl so soon even though its gone wrong

 

dont want to come over as just moaning but yer gotta admit its not been a great year!

[chai714]

It's very easy to get down on yourself when you think of all the negative events, especially when they're more recent. How you overcome those events is what will make you a stronger, wiser, more knowledgable individual. Be sure to try to deal with those things in the most positive ways - avoid making any impulse decisions. Avoid drinking especially. You can find a way to turn ANY negative into a positive - deep down, you have control over your reactions, and that will make your life sweeter in the end.

[gizza]

i know your right & will get through this somehow , its just so damnn hard

 

she was great & would love to hear from her again but its not to be i guess more lonely times ahead to heal from all this pain , when i project forward i think if im ever really happy again its gonna be so great as ive been so down for a year now !