confused993 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I am a 23 year old girl. Just got out of a serious 9 months relationship (about 2 months ago) because i ended up realising that we are not compatible. And i am happy it is over. Anyways, a few weeks after breaking up i started to talk to guys again. I met this guy in my gym who had almost 80% of the list of things I'm looking for in a guy. ( except for one very important thing is that we are not from same background, which is a big thing for me) We talked for a few weeks and i liked him alot. After a month of knowing him i started losing intrest even though he didnt do anything wrong at all. And i kind of led him on which makes me feel so bad and uncomfortable. Around a week ago a guy who i knew from a long time messaged me and we started talking. This guy had like %55 what im looking for and i found myself very attracted to him (we are from the same background). I met up with him and it was nice. Anyways, After that happend i realised that maybe the reason why i started losing intrest in guy #1 is because there were some stuff missing in guy #1 that were important to me. I told guy #1 today about my feelings. How i dont feel comfortable and there are some things that i feel should be in a relationship but arent there. He understood and thanked me for telling him. I feel bad because he is honestly an amazing guy. But these feelings i am getting are just torture. Now that there is this new guy in my life. I am also starting to look at flaws. And realsing that they aren't small. Infact they are pretty bad. I swear i am the least judgmental mental person and i do not have commitment issues. I wanma get married as soon as i can with someone i am 100% comfortable with. This really hurts my heart. I am not a show off. So I don't know i am never feeling comfortable. Guy #1 told me an advice because he understand my situation kind of. He said i should figure myself out. Work out my goals. I guess im just the kinda person that doesn't want to be lonley but in the same time i get stressed as hell when ever i start a relationship after 2-3 weeks of dating. Help Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Sounds like you're complicated lol. What's so bad about the new guy? Link to comment
evad1 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 You get serious way too quick. How do you know someone has something you're looking after one encounter? It sounds like you need to slow down and figure yourself out. You can still date and just have fun, but if you're going to stress yourself out maybe you don't need to date. Link to comment
j.man Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 a serious 9 months relationshipThat's adorable. Link to comment
confused993 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 He is 29 and still didnt go to college. He works in construction which pays good but isnt a very safe job. I felt a strong connection when i saw him but now its fading away only a week after knowing him. Link to comment
confused993 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Sounds like you're complicated lol. What's so bad about the new guy? He is 29 and still didnt go to college. He works in construction which pays good but isnt a very safe job. I felt a strong connection when i saw him but now its fading away only a week after knowing him. Link to comment
confused993 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 You get serious way too quick. How do you know someone has something you're looking after one encounter? It sounds like you need to slow down and figure yourself out. You can still date and just have fun, but if you're going to stress yourself out maybe you don't need to date. I thought of that too, the dating for fun thing but it still ends up stressing me out loll, and often i am really worried about hurting the other person so i end it as soon as i feel a little uncomfortable so he won't get attached. How long does it take anyways to know if this person is right for u? Some people tell me 6-7 months. Some say a month. I don't know which one is right lol and I don't want ti waste anyone's time. Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 That's adorable. I laughed out loud 😂😂 Link to comment
evad1 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I thought of that too, the dating for fun thing but it still ends up stressing me out loll, and often i am really worried about hurting the other person so i end it as soon as i feel a little uncomfortable so he won't get attached. How long does it take anyways to know if this person is right for u? Some people tell me 6-7 months. Some say a month. I don't know which one is right lol and I don't want ti waste anyone's time. It's different for everyone. You have to start somewhere.Some people end up marrying the person they were attracted to from the first time they saw them. Honestly though, normally after the first year or two year mark is when it starts to go down hill lol. If you have someone sticking around after that you probably really have feeling for them. Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 He is 29 and still didnt go to college. He works in construction which pays good but isnt a very safe job. I felt a strong connection when i saw him but now its fading away only a week after knowing him. So what do you want in a guy? Ask yourself that and when you first start dating someone try to see if they have all of those qualities. We all have our standards. Link to comment
Aarontmarshall Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I am a 23 year old girl. Just got out of a serious 9 months relationship (about 2 months ago) because i ended up realising that we are not compatible. And i am happy it is over. Anyways, a few weeks after breaking up i started to talk to guys again. I met this guy in my gym who had almost 80% of the list of things I'm looking for in a guy. ( except for one very important thing is that we are not from same background, which is a big thing for me) We talked for a few weeks and i liked him alot. After a month of knowing him i started losing intrest even though he didnt do anything wrong at all. And i kind of led him on which makes me feel so bad and uncomfortable. Around a week ago a guy who i knew from a long time messaged me and we started talking. This guy had like %55 what im looking for and i found myself very attracted to him (we are from the same background). I met up with him and it was nice. Anyways, After that happend i realised that maybe the reason why i started losing intrest in guy #1 is because there were some stuff missing in guy #1 that were important to me. I told guy #1 today about my feelings. How i dont feel comfortable and there are some things that i feel should be in a relationship but arent there. He understood and thanked me for telling him. I feel bad because he is honestly an amazing guy. But these feelings i am getting are just torture. Now that there is this new guy in my life. I am also starting to look at flaws. And realsing that they aren't small. Infact they are pretty bad. I swear i am the least judgmental mental person and i do not have commitment issues. I wanma get married as soon as i can with someone i am 100% comfortable with. This really hurts my heart. I am not a show off. So I don't know i am never feeling comfortable. Guy #1 told me an advice because he understand my situation kind of. He said i should figure myself out. Work out my goals. I guess im just the kinda person that doesn't want to be lonley but in the same time i get stressed as hell when ever i start a relationship after 2-3 weeks of dating. Help Hey, thought I'd give my advice for you. This just seems like that you are looking for something that doesn't exist, a man that is 100% compatible with you. No man and woman are 100% compatible I'm afraid, no matter what you believe or what you hear. Guy number 1 seems to understand you pretty well, you need to work on yourself and really discover what is bothering you when you meet guys. No-one is perfect, if I were you, I'd stay single for a while and concentrate on yourself rather than getting with someone and finding their flaws,otherwise you'll keep doing the same thing over and over again. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Meeting 2 guys after just breaking up may be too much too soon. You can't meet a "future husband" after a few dates and right after a breakup. What's the hurry getting married? Try dating some more and look for the deal breakers early on. Take your time and after dating a while then see if a relationship follows.I am a 23 year old girl. Just got out of a serious 9 months relationship (about 2 months ago) Now that there is this new guy in my life. I am also starting to look at flaws. And realsing that they aren't small. I wanma get married as soon as i can with someone i am 100% comfortable with. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 I swear i am the least judgmental mental person & Unlike you white people with your weird way of thinking Oh no, not judgmental at all.... Link to comment
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