Odds of reconciliation?

[ang97]

We had a great relationship up until the end. I'll spare you most of the details. We are both 19 and started dating at 17, so a little over a year we were together.

 

We go to different schools about half an hour apart. We broke up because he just didn't want a relationship anymore. He said he still loves me, still said we are soulmates, said he still wants us to be best friends and doesn't want to lose that. He said we can still hang out and text in the future--he still wants that (I don't want a friendship and kind of said this). It's been 6 days since we broke up. He said he just doesn't want a relationship right now, and he'd only want one in the future with me. Said he would reach out to me if he decided he wants one.

 

Now, what might've caused this? I know he's very overwhelmed right now. He's on academic probation for his school and his fraternity. He has rush going on for his fraternity which takes up a lot of time. He's horrible with time management and doesn't deal with stress very well. So I think, and his mom thinks, he just needs a break from something in order to keep his standing in school (otherwise he will lose his scholarship) and his fraternity (he will be kicked out, waste of like $2000, etc).

 

He's really big into the party scene and drinking/smoking right now. I think when he gets all of the BS out of his system and gets some of his responsibilities in check he will try to get back with me.

 

No, I'm not excusing his stupid behavior at all. And no, I'm not saying I would even take him back if he tried to get with me.

 

What do you think?

[ang97]

Also, we have been no contact. I blocked him on everything.

[ang97]

I forgot to add he wants me to transfer to his school, he said it would be good for me.

[mike7788]

When people break-up with others and say "There is a chance for us in the future" It's just a cowards way of not trying to hurt your feelings as much.

 

 

He wants to be single, he wants to party, hook-up with other girls, etc.

 

If he wanted to be with you, it's simple, he would.

 

 

I know, it's SO hard to see this in hindsight and I may come off as blunt, but trust me, there is no rocket science or hidden meanings in break-ups.

 

He very well may come back, after he has his fill of other girls or rejection, he's keeping you there for you to hang on.

 

 

In my opinion, move on.

 

You're young, and have years of fun and boys that will chase you.

 

 

Hang in there, but I think whether there is a chance of reconciliation or not, there will be baggage and dirt to pick through if it ever comes to that, and instead of wasting your time I think it's best to forgive and forget.

[Wiseman2]

At college most people want their freedom to grow and enjoy campus life, not be tied down. Go no contact and enjoy your freedom to grow and explore your won independence and stuff at college.

 

Make friends, join study groups, sports, clubs, go to events, etc. Start dating local college guys. Get on some dating apps.

 

Don't transfer to his school. Follow your own path, besides he's on academic probation, in a fraternity and in party hardy mode, what's the point? said we can still hang out and text in the future--He said he just doesn't want a relationship right now. Said he would reach out to me if he decided he wants one. He's on academic probation for his school and his fraternity. He has rush going on for his fraternity which takes up a lot of time.He's really big into the party scene and drinking/smoking right now.

[angrythoughts]

 

Now, what might've caused this? I know he's very overwhelmed right now. He's on academic probation for his school and his fraternity. He has rush going on for his fraternity which takes up a lot of time. He's horrible with time management and doesn't deal with stress very well. So I think, and his mom thinks, he just needs a break from something in order to keep his standing in school (otherwise he will lose his scholarship) and his fraternity (he will be kicked out, waste of like $2000, etc).

 

He's really big into the party scene and drinking/smoking right now. I think when he gets all of the BS out of his system and gets some of his responsibilities in check he will try to get back with me.

 

No, I'm not excusing his stupid behavior at all. And no, I'm not saying I would even take him back if he tried to get with me.

 

What do you think?

 

What caused this is he wants to have fun and be with other people. I don't think his academic probation is the cause of the break up or even part of the cause. The reason he's probably on academic probation is because he's partying too much.

 

Odds of reconciliation? Who knows. People change their minds every day. It's not something you can predict. Anyways, I hope he's not the kind of dude that'll just keep you around for the good stuff. If he tries to downgrade you from gf to FWB cut him off.

[MissCanuck]

He's young and not ready to commit.

 

Most people away at school for the first time just want to go out and have fun and not have a partner to worry about. That's really all there is to it. I agree with the above that his academic probation is because he's gone overboard on the partying. It's not a factor in the break-up.

 

He'll find his balance sooner or later, but believe me when I say you don't want to be the girl hanging around in the wings while he's out whooping it up and eventually meeting other girls.

 

Don't transfer to him, whatever you do. That would be a very unwise move which you would probably regret.

[boltnrun]

Didn't you ask this same question already today but you asked if it was GIGS?

 

It's not GIGS. He just wants to experience college life as a single man.

 

Maybe you can try to experience college life too.