Friend or girlfriend how to decide (complicated).

[anon237233]

Im currently in a relationship that has lasted just over two years so far so it means a lot to me. However recently my girlfriend saw another guy alone at night, although I do trust her she is friends with a lot of guys and it makes me feel like I'm not good enough at times ( It doesn't help these guys have peer pressured her into doing weed but that's a whole different story). The problem Im facing now is that I confronted her about the whole situation and it has woken me up to a degree about how much she hangs out with other guys and how little I hang out with other girls to keep things in check, and I feel as though I just may be a bit more committed to the relationship than she is and it makes me second guess things. I know 100% that I enjoy having her in my life and I'd be miserable but I was starting to think about whether it might just be better for us to be friends, but she had already started in the past that if we broke up she wouldn't be interested in remaining friends.

 

My emotions seem all over the place, and I don't know what to do so I start talking to her about how I feel, it turns out she really loves me and wants to stay together, but at the same time just wants me to be happy, and I explain that I love spending time with her and having chats. She interprets this as me only seeing her as a friend and suggests if I know this is how I feel that it may be best for us to move on so she isn't loving someone that doesn't love her back. To put things into perspective we are both 17 turning 18 this year, so we've still got our whole lives ahead of us. Currently I said that I will do my best to try and make things work out because I don't want to lose her from my life completely but I'm still not sure yet if I want to keep a relationship going but at the same time I don't want her to become depressed because of the breakup.

 

- Any advice would be helpful on what I should do in regards to my feelings toward my girlfriend or my thoughts in general. I'd be happy to elaborate or rephrase if anything isn't clear enough. Thanks in advance! (sorry if formatting is bad just signed up)

[reinventmyself]

To put things into perspective we are both 17 turning 18 this year, so we've still got our whole lives ahead of us. Currently I said that I will do my best to try and make things work out because I don't want to lose her from my life completely but I'm still not sure yet if I want to keep a relationship going but at the same time I don't want her to become depressed because of the breakup.

 

You are both really young and to have been in a relationship already for 2 years and having these issues are pretty common.

You both question your commitment to each other, among other things.

 

Honestly, relationships started in your teens very rarely last. The rate in which you mature and change will be at lightening speed from now and for a few more years. This has likely started to run it's course and that is why you are both questioning it.

 

The concern about not wanting her to be depressed is considerate, but we are not responsible for others reactions. Break ups - break us. They break us down and from

there you build yourself up. You learn, grow and move on with having learned some life lessons. Don't let that stop you from doing what you need to do.

 

This is will most likely be the first of a few breakups you'll both experience in your life time.

It's just the way life is sometimes.