Affair & Pregnany....need a man's help!!!

[Troubled Girl]

Hello,

 

I feel guilt posting anything about this as I know most of you men (and women) are going through some awful times. I however, do need some advice...and I am hoping there is a man in here who has gone or is going through something a little similar to my siutation...

 

My boyfriend of 4 years got my pregnant (for the third time). I am 2 months along and have no other children. We have been living together for the past 6 months and he has been separated (but not divorced) from his wife for over a year.

 

He is so scared to have this baby because of the consequences he will face. His wife knows about me and the length of time we have been together. She also knows he wants to marry me and "eventually" have children. Unfortunately the timing is off...

 

What will happen to him in the divorce process if we have this child? He has worked hard for what he has (he has a lot) and I don't want him to lose everything. Will she be entitled to more now? I am scared that she will make both our lives he** (which she has every right too) but my biggest concern if for the child...how will he/she be affected.

 

If we have this baby...and he loses everything, do you think he will resent me and the child in the future? Would you? What is my best course of action....He says an abortion would make things easier, but only for the moment...he also does want to keep the child..I on the otherhand really want to keep this baby...

 

I feel scared, confused and don't want to hurt anyone....

[Ac143]

I'm not a guy but, I just have one thing to say.........Regardless of what will happen to him during the divorce, it's not the babys fault!!! An aboration will only get rid of his problem for now but, will start other problems....maybe between you and him, your emotional feeling if you really want this baby....you will regret it FOREVER! Don't kill an incense baby over money or whatever. I'm not here to judge but, that will not solve your problem. To me it does not seem like you have a problem at all...you are having a baby with the man you love...what is the problem???

You asked if he will hold it against you and the baby later on, I don't know the answer to that but, if he does then he's not worth it. I hope I have helped alittle at least. Please don't make a decision over a unborn child over a divorce or money issues. If you want the baby......keep it dont' let him talk you into anything else.

Good Luck

[Myknosis]

Hi there. It sounds like you are scared and I can undestand. Is there a huge age difference between you two? you mentioned that you got pregnant three times but only have this one child. Did you have two abortions before?

 

I know that this is hard but he is going to have to make some decisions quickly about his marragie. Is his wife holding proceedings up or is he just hanging on for some reason? E-mail me and we can talk.

 

As for now, only you can determine whether you will be handle the emotional burden of the abortion. Will he be there for you? Really think this through because this unborn child could be such a huge blessing. Again e-mail me and we can talk.

[Matt Young]

Decide if you want the baby first.

Would you want the child if you were a single parent?

Would you still want the kid if the dad was stubborn about child support?

Would you want the baby if the father didn't?

 

After you decide whether you want the baby, then we can figure out the rest.