My ex keeps making contact

[MStowe]

Hi guys,

 

I've posted a few times here before and found the contributions from people very helpful so thanks in advance.

 

My ex recently broke up with me, as something I said he found quite hurtful. I've apologised for this however he still felt the need to end our relationship. This was the second time we had broken up.

 

Our relationship ended in November, and I found out he had been 'hanging out' with someone else though not together or seeing eachother.

 

We both have had a lot going on in our lives with sick relatives that has added to the stress we've both had.

 

However on Christmas eve, he sent me a Christmas message to which I replied, and conversation between us has been happening over text since then, on one occasion it being serious and addressing the issues we had when together. But for the most part of it, its been small talk but constant each and every day.

 

He sent me a pic of him in swimwear and at times has been complementing me on all sorts of things.

 

I feel quite insecure about what's going on - at this point I still love him and would hope for a reconciliation but not sure if I should play it cool for a while or actually ask what he wants from me? If I stop messaging for a couple of hours I get many more messages back.

 

This is very confusing so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks in advance.

[mustlovedogs]

What did you say?

[Hollyj]

Don't allow him to string you along?

 

What did you say to upset him?

[MStowe]

In our serious chat i explained what I had been doing to heal and learn. Its fair to say he did some hurtful things which he also said sorry for. Since then its been small talk but consistent over the past few days. I just dont know if I should see what happens or step in and say something.

[Hollyj]

"However as things progress I want to know more about him and spend more time with him, get to know his friends etc. When we first started seeing each other it was very casual and we would wake up in the morning where he would quickly leave and hang with his friends. This behaviour still happens now and while we spend more time together, he keeps his friends relatively separate. For example, his friends wanted to go to the movies and his friend asked if I were coming and I never got an invite from him direct, and the same friend invited himself to dinner with my partner and I to spend time with us but this is not forthcoming from the guy I'm seeing."

 

"I had been feeling a little insecure given the person I was seeing had failed to commit on a number of occasions and flew in and out of my life quite a lot."

 

I retract what I said. I remember this, this is the guy that never incorporated you into his life. You really need to let this go. It never worked!!!!!! He will never let you in!

 

Why haven't you blocked? Do you want more of the same?

[MStowe]

Thanks Holly, I sadly think you're right. This is really hard to let go of as once you care for someone and they show interest it can be very seductive. I know he does care for me somewhat but I dont know to what level.

 

I've felt very down on myself quite consistently but letting go is so hard.

[Hollyj]

It's because you have allowed him to contact you.

 

He has shown you over and over that he is not going to commit, or let you in. You need to accept this.

 

He likes the attention from you, and that's it. He will not change. It's time you moved on from this guy, unless you want more of the same.

 

You're choosing not to let go.

[Ms Darcy]

The problem isn't getting back together.. The problem is that you two seem unable to stay together.