Mama's boy

[bbcoco]

I didn't know where to post this, but I think here will do.

 

Anyone dealed or are dealing with a mama's boy? Do they ever grow up? Do they really need you to act and take care of them like their mother?

 

I'd just like to get some feedbacks, I'd like to hear from other women who experienced a relationship with a "mama's boy", it would greatly be appreciated. Thanks.

[arwen]

Hey bbcoco,

 

I have... luckily it's my ex. I had long relationship with him. His mom was the 'boss' of his life, although he lived on his own, she would pay for everything including food. She was also the boss of his father you see (he was the one taking care of the income). They would pick his laundry up, wash/iron it and bring it back to his place. She didn't like me. Of course. A true witch-in-law.

 

Did he grow up? Not when we were together. He was so spoilt at home, that he turned out to be quite an egocentrical person. Which was horrible for me. He is very very used to getting his way. And I, loving him to bits, let him walk all over me.

 

It's a long story why, when exactly and how we broke up, let's not go there now

 

I met him for the last time in August 2004, where he told me that he was really unsatisfied in life. I think and hope for him this makes him grow up. He said that he felt like he never took responsibility for his own needs, he felt like he wasn't standing on his own feet and even realized that was what was killing me in the relationship. =D>

 

If you are dealing with a person like that, realize that you are not the one who can actually change that person. The change needs to come from his own insight. In that insight, you might be a sort of 'clue-provider' so to say.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

[DN]

It always interests me that there is no similar term as "Mama's boy" for a woman whose mother treats her in exactly the same way. If there is that dynamic it is described as "a close relationship".

[temperamental_taurus]

I also had a mama's boy - I married him and divorced him and because we have a child together and I see him all the time, I can honestly say he has not changed. We spent every night with his family for 3 years. She used to pack him lunches for work with juice boxes and cookies - he was 32 years old at that time. And when we weren't with his family she called him just about every two hours. Pathetic, I know. After we divorced they built him a 3 bedroom 2 bath house and buy him everything as well. He is now 36 almost 37. So, no - it never changes, and I could not compete with the amount of money they controlled my now ex-husband with. He's a great guy and an awesome father and we are still friends, I'm just glad that I don't have to feel second best anymore. Just my bit of input.

[Poupee]

It always interests me that there is no similar term as "Mama's boy" for a woman whose mother treats her in exactly the same way. If there is that dynamic it is described as "a close relationship".

 

 

I guess its different cause the relationship between mother and daugther is different than mother/son,in most cases at least.

Its the same as father/daughter relationship or father/son.Per say,my dad couldnt care less which women my brothers date,but when it comes to me,its a complete different story.I know my mom is not the type of jealous mother but in the past I've heard her making kind of jealous comments about my brothers partners.I guess thats just the way it is.And she used to do my brothers laundry and mine as well so it doesnt make a difference and she's used to cook for everyone in the house and all that.I guess its just a mother/son thing.

[DN]

Possibly but I think it can also be a dynamic between the mother and the man's partner and the poor guy is often caught in the middle and is characterised as a bad son or a bad husband/mama's boy.

 

That is not to say that there are not men who are too attached to their mother but it is too easy to call him that just because he won't take sides against his mother every time his partner has a falling out with her.

 

I see all the time, that when a woman falls out with her mother-in-law, her husband is told to take his wifes' side and be a man. But if a man falls out with his mother-in-law, he is told to realise that she and his wife have a special relationship and he should grow up and be a man about it.

 

Just a little complaint about different expectations for different genders.