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Very confused about my ex relation please suggest!


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Story- I met this girl a year ago, she was funny and very nice to me. Soon we got in relationship. She felt like the right person, we both promise to marry one another. We had sex, but after few months started to make distance from me. And then told me she can't be with me any more as she still loves her ex. I was heart broken.

That guy again left her and she attempted suicide. She came back to me but only in few months she again left me for him.

This time she abused me when I called her and asked me to stay away. I was crying on phone and she said "stop acting". She then told me I abused you to help you move on .

I don't get it, what does that guy has better than me , he abuses her physically, but still she wants him. I gave everything to her with respect and she abused me?


Am sure am not going to take her back, but this incident has left me broken.

I don't know why I continuously dream about the day when she wants to comeback, and I will abuse her in return!


Is this thought rational or is it because I am not able to move on! Will I be able to resist her if this kind of situation arise? What should be the best way to tackle her when she tries to return.

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i'm sorry you've experienced this OP.


Sometimes people learn the top dog/underdog dynamics in one relationship..and they figure to avoid being trodden on once again, they make sure to be top dog and abuse the next person.


see how you are thinking if there's a next chance, you'll play the abuser part?


when she tries to return, you may be blissfully unaware of it if you block her.


generally people need a lot of time to themselves after a break up, and especially after an abusive relationship before they can relate normally to a new person.


the only reason you're still thinking about getting her back is because the human ego has a need to restore it's potency after it's been degraded-- but that can't happen with people who only know the battlefield model of relating.


don't let the power-over paradigm dictate your relationships. it isn't present in healthy ones.


brainstorm and come up with healthier ways to feel like a full, worthy person with their strength about them.

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You need to move on if you are having revenge fantasies like this. You need to block her from everything and go no contact.


Just be glad she's gone. She's too messed up to be in relationships.

I don't know why I continuously dream about the day when she wants to comeback, and I will abuse her in return!

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