Saying "stop"

[Fesfas]

But I made it clear each time that it was a problem that made me feel really disrespected. I made it clear exactly what I meant when I said stop. Yet it happened again this morning. I said stop, he heard me, he did not stop until I was more forceful about it.

 

I'm not trying to frighten you, but this sounds very concerning. I suppose I could give this guy the benefit of the doubt the first time, but you have clearly stated on several occasions that stop means stop, and he still doesn't respect that. He needs to understand just how serious a violation this is. Quite frankly I'm not sure there's any way back from this. I think you could very easily find yourself losing control of the situation if you're not careful. If I were you I would remove yourself from this relationship permanently, or at least until you are ABSOLUTELY convinced that he has learned his lesson and will never push these limits ever again. Millions of people are able to engage in enjoyable "dominating" sex without the fear of losing control over the situation because the partners trust each other. Clearly this guy has lost your trust (and for good reason!). Get out while you still can.

[Fesfas]

In regards to the guy I initially posted about, he ended things a day ago. We kept arguing/having discussions because I was having a lot of trust issues and questioning whether he respected me as a person. He finally had enough. I don't know how I feel. On one hand I am relieved because it felt like it wasn't a good situation. But another part of myself is blaming myself and saying if I hadn't been so over-reactive things could have worked.

 

I just read this update. I think this turned out for the best. Cultural difference is no excuse for behavior which violates another person's legal right to abstain from sexual intercourse (unless you are residing in a country which is not a signatory to the UN Declaration of Human Rights).

 

I understand that you are feeling grief and guilt. You have my sympathy, but I feel quite confident in saying that you did the right thing by standing up for your sexual rights. Doing the right thing isn't always easy and can sometimes leave you feeling ostracized and alone. But trust yourself that you acted appropriately. Congratulations on being courageous and assertive. Never lose that part of yourself. You're going to need it in the future

[lifesatrip]

This is really late, but just want to say thanks for all the comments! It was really helpful! Especially the ones telling me to listen to my inner voice. I haven't been seeing this guy for a few weeks and now feel much better about everything.