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panic attacks from ex?

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ok so ive never used this site but im getting kinda desperate? so about 6 months ago my ex, who i was EXTREMELY close with, but who also happened to be very emotionally abusive and a stalker, decided that they would blame me for every thing bad that they caused. they told me if i contacted them again theyd sue me for harassment ( which is impossible for them to succeed at considering they made over 4 instagram accounts to stalk me, asked my friends for my personal info) and i was informed they post about me saying imthe abusive one. i used to go to a private arts school, because im trying to get into animation collage next year. the school was WONDERFUL but i had to leave due to this situation. at first my anxiety about it was just kinda regular? i have general anxiety disorder and Aspergers so i have a lot of anxiety as it is, but recently in the last few months its gotten so bad that ive actually been verified to get a service dog from a local non profit. but unfortunately it can take months for that to happen, and i literally can not go ANY WHERE i know my ex likes/ goes to alot/ or is by their house. i will literally have a panic attack and either throw up or collapse. its gotten so bad that if i even see an instagram account like a photo that has a similar username or profile picture that i will also have a panic attack. i was out at dinner today and i thought they followed me and i threw up and had to go sit out side, when i trued to go back in side i was shaking to mach and could not get up, and my parents had to help me inside. this was all because1 thought they followed me and it wasnt even them. and to make it worse, they post things about me saying i abused themwhich is complete bull . one of my good friend from that school will send me a pic they posted about me a few times a month. note that i am also transgender and my ex will purposefully call me she or her or use my birth name literally just because they hate me?? is there a way i can deal with all this? i want to confront them but 1: theyll victimize them self if i confront them and 2: if i even look at a picture of the i throw up or hyperventilate so thats not even really an option??? sorry if this doesnt make since,i tried to explain the situation with out every tiny detail

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Hey honeyysoda,


Just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you're having to go through this. I know all too well what you are experiencing. My relationship ended over a year ago and I was accused of being emotionally abusive, by someone who is unfortunately unstable (and who has also stalked me online). Like you, I experienced panic attacks as well as symptoms of PTSD and depression (inc an attempt on my life).


The first thing to do is start therapy sessions. I'm not sure where you live so I can't give precise advice, but there should be a service nearby that can provide you with the help you need. Such events in our life can have traumatic consequences and it appears as though you are already feeling the effects. Do yourself a favor and see a professional to help with the anxiety.


It also may be worth considering going to the police. Stalking, both online and offline, is considered an offence in most places and so long as you can prove it is being committed, legal action can be taken. As well as this, you can maybe file for harassment as a result of the abuse claims made against you. It sounds like you have credible reason to make a "Defamation of character" claim.


I wish you all the best. You are not alone.

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I agree therapy can be very beneficial. I too, am suffering the effects of my last abusive relationship. There are days where I feel like he'll find me. It's hard to live life this way. Therapy is helping a lot, & can give you the tools to get through this.


Be strong and take care!

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Panic comes from within. I'm unclear on the connection between another's current action and your panic. You say that this person is an ex and for good reason. Keep it that way.


I find one thing quite odd about your posting. You go to torturous linguistic lengths to avoid using the singular personal pronoun. It's a he or she, him or her. It isn't a "they" or "them."


The use of the plural pronoun indicates that you're under attack by an army, when there's really only a single individual you're concerned about. First, start thinking about this as being an issue with a single individual, an ex who has no standing in your life, and it'll be easier to deal with, than the group of people you describe him or her to be. Define the problem accurately, and it's more manageable.

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