Mom is affecting my relationship and causing problems...help

[JynX]

Hello. I need some advice. My boyfriend of 9 months is a year and a half older, and just a few weeks ago my mother voiced that she has a problem with our age difference. She's always been picky on when she lets me see him, but now she says I cant go anywhere with him because she is afraid we'll have sex and I'll get pregnant and all that usual parental drama. The thing is, she's waited until I was in this relationship for 8 months to tell me all of this, so it's not like I can jsut walk away and make her happy.

 

My boyfriend and I havent gotten to hang out outside of school 3 weekends in a row, and I've noticed it's starting to take effect. I've started feeling distance between us. We started to talk a lot less than we used to and when we do talk, it's about pointless things. I've also noticed he's been becoming a little less affectionate in public than he used to be.

 

I love my boyfriend, but it seems I cant stop thinking about all of this and maybe even having doubts. The last thing I want is to lose him, but my mother is making it impossible for us to see each other outside of school. So naturally it's been effecting both of us. He might not realize it yet, but I do. Any ideas on what I can do?

 

JyNx

[Beec]

I think you need to deal with your mother. The big question is how do you put your mother's fears to rest. She's got legitimate fears, address them.

[passions1]

Try talking to your bf first & ask if everything ok or anything to see his opinions of what all of you can do to help reassure your mom. Once you have communicated & become more open to your bf, then it can help out what you are noticing now b/c it's obviously affecting how you behave towards your bf. Also the thing about parents are that they are natural worry warts, they will worry regardless no matter of how of a great child you are! The fact that she is concerned, shows that she does love & care about you! Also make sure to ask what does your mom & not just your bf in terms of what they want & keep in mind of how to balance them out together without it being a drain on yourself & schooling. You will need to reassure your mom especially at your young age of you whereabouts whenever you go out with any people to give her a peace of mind. Or if you will be late as well. Let her get to know your bf alittle more in situations of all 3 of you going out for dinner at a restaurant to see how great a guy he is, something casual, nothing to fancy so that there isn't too much pressure towards him or your mom. Once she has a better idea of how your bf is in person & see how wonderful he is she will not need to worry as much!