How do i build up my self esteem after my relationship ended?

[takewhatuwant]

How do i build up my self esteem after my relationship ended?

 

I was desperate and pathetic and I begged. Lost all dignity and burned a bridge. And when he didn't want me I lashed out. He wrote a friend of mine to tell her what was going on and that was a line that was crossed. So I wrote his sister and his friend to tell them that he was responsible just as much as I was.

 

We went low. So below the belt calling each other names attacking character.

 

Now it's over. i accept it. I've met someone who he has been with and it didn't hurt as much as I thought ( kind of a dose of reality I needed )

 

But, I'm lost. My confidence has gone down the toilet and I'm wallowing in grief.

 

This is not fun. How do I rebuild when he seems fully over me? Why is it always so easy for everyone to walk away from me when I hold on

[rich46]

How do i build up my self esteem after my relationship ended?

 

I was desperate and pathetic and I begged. Lost all dignity and burned a bridge. And when he didn't want me I lashed out. He wrote a friend of mine to tell her what was going on and that was a line that was crossed. So I wrote his sister and his friend to tell them that he was responsible just as much as I was.

 

We went low. So below the belt calling each other names attacking character.

 

Now it's over. i accept it. I've met someone who he has been with and it didn't hurt as much as I thought ( kind of a dose of reality I needed )

 

But, I'm lost. My confidence has gone down the toilet and I'm wallowing in grief.

 

This is not fun. How do I rebuild when he seems fully over me? Why is it always so easy for everyone to walk away from me when I hold on

You do all the usual things that get posted on here, which may sound cliche, but are absolutely true:

 

- Meet new people

- Take up new hobbies

- Set new goals (short-term/long-term)

- Exercise

- Eat healthily

- Meditate

- Travel

- Read any self-help books you feel necessary

etc etc.

 

At first, it may be hard to get motivated, so I recommend purchasing this book as a starting point:

 

"Feeling Good" by David D. Burns.

 

Bit by bit, as the months go by, and as you proactively go about rebuilding your life, you will gradually reclaim your self-esteem.

[SkellyWoozle]

Everything Rich said. Good luck. Hugs XX

[rich46]

Also:

 

- Buy some new clothes

- Change your hair style

- Move things around your apartment/room

- Redecorate

- Clean the house

- Make a point of smiling at someone on your way to work

- Initiate conversations more than you normally would

- Compliment others

 

Being proactive and actually achieving little tasks, however small they may appear, will give you a boost.

 

Read the book I recommended for more tips on setting little goals for yourself on a day-to-day basis.

[Wiseman2]

To be honest it's not easy for anyone, especially if things got ugly at the end.

 

The best thing to do is erase him and all his people from your life and your mind both practically by going no contact and blocking all of them as well as just keeping your mind elsewhere.

I wrote his sister and his friend to tell them that he was responsible just as much as I was.

Same guy?