how to deal with gays in my college

[pandorasbox]

Ok, here's the deal. I know this sounds funny but whatever, heres my problem. I have this guy in my college whose probably gay. I'm not sure he is. He aint a student, he's a married man in his 30s, and he works in the college. So everyday when I'm about to leave and just chatting with my pals near the bike stand, he comes over to me and is like, oohh my darling how are you and then he starts to hug me. and then hes like that felt good bla bla bla. He's laughing all the time he's doing this, and my pals are laughing too. So after that he keeps saying stuff like you(me) are sexy etc etc, kinda hitting on me the way I hit at girls. I'm not really sure he's gay, he might be just doing it cuz he thinks its funny, but I don't enjoy it. its pretty embarrasing. I tried to tell him I won't hug him and i'll only shake hands with him. but then he made me hug him again . I probably could beat him up if I want to, but I might get in trouble since he works in the college, and he might be tougher than he looks like, after all he's older than me etc. So anyone got any solutions to this problem?

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Tell him that it really does bother you and how you feel about it. Tell him directly, and tell that if he does not stop that you will tell his wife.......

[annie24]

The problem with this man isn't that he's gay, but that his behavior is TOTALLY inappropriate. Gay or straight, it's not appropriate to go up to someone you hardly know and be hugging all over them. I would avoid chatting with your friends by that bike stop. Walk out of class in a different direction, like out the back of the building. If he tries to come up to you, just say, "sorry, gotta run" and walk away fast. If he does keep doing this, just tell him "Um - I don't know you - I don't want to hug you. Please leave me alone." Avoid him as much as possible.

 

You may consider telling his supervisor at school. Tell the supervisor what this guy is doing, and that it is making you very uncomfortable (and that it's inappropriate). That should hopefully really clear things up.

[pandorasbox]

Tell him that it really does bother you and how you feel about it. Tell him directly, and tell that if he does not stop that you will tell his wife.......

 

lol.. well, the first thing is his wife is just gonna laugh when I tell her that, because the guy is always laughing and to someone else it would just seem like he's doing it cuz he thinks its funny. and thats probably true but i dont like it. and the 2nd thing is i can never walk up to a girl and say "Your husband is gay and he's stalking me". I mean come on dude, just thinking of that makes me laugh how can I ever manage to say that to her and deal with it all my life.

 

Anybody got any practical solutions? Like something I can really do?

[pandorasbox]

The problem with this man isn't that he's gay, but that his behavior is TOTALLY inappropriate. Gay or straight, it's not appropriate to go up to someone you hardly know and be hugging all over them. I would avoid chatting with your friends by that bike stop. Walk out of class in a different direction, like out the back of the building. If he tries to come up to you, just say, "sorry, gotta run" and walk away fast. If he does keep doing this, just tell him "Um - I don't know you - I don't want to hug you. Please leave me alone." Avoid him as much as possible.

 

You may consider telling his supervisor at school. Tell the supervisor what this guy is doing, and that it is making you very uncomfortable (and that it's inappropriate). That should hopefully really clear things up.

 

Now I know why girls are so darn good at avoiding guys .Anyway thanks, this should do it. I'll try that tomorrow and post an update here.

[NotGay,Really]

What you are dealing with here is not so much a gay/straight issue as SEXUAL harassMENT. If he is making sexual overtures to you, and you have told him to stop, he is in the wrong.

 

If you really want to make this stop, ask your friends to write a simple statement about what this guy has been doing. Tell him again that you want him to STOP, and that you have witnesses to what he has been doing.

 

If he doesn't stop, definitely take it to the school administration.

 

(If a 30 year old school official was rubbing up to a female student, would the school let it go on? This is the same thing.)

[chblueguy]

I totally agree with notgay, really. This guy is bothering you and he happens to be gay. Not all gay men are like that, even though i know it's hard to believe. So it's not an issue of dealing with gay people, you have an indivudual ordeal and you have to deal with a harasser like any other individual would. I just hope you don't fall into the stereotype that all gay people are after straight guys, because we aren't.

[DN]

You could say, with an absolutely straight face and in a most serious tone "Please don't do that, you have really bad body odour" and walk away.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Who cares if he is gay or not. Just tell him that he is making you feel really uncomfortable and that his behaviour is hurting you!!!!!!