In too deep, please help!

[D49]

I'll try to keep this huge dilemma as short as possible. (Scroll to bottom for TLDR)

 

I'm currently 18 years old and I've been dating my high school girlfriend for a year and a half now. Here's some background info on our relationship, let's call her V. We started dating the end of our senior year of high school (February) after we already committed to different colleges. Now, before you all judge me harshly, in May of the same year, I had a drunken lapse of judgement and cheated on her with my best friends older sister. It was only a few months into our relationship and yeah V meant a lot to me but I figured that we would break up in college since long distance is very difficult and I wanted to capitalize on the situation presented to me since V was the girl that took my virginity and I wanted to experience intercourse with another girl. I kept it a secret until we were already in school and eventually the guilt caught up to me and in October I told V about what I did and why. It took her a long time to forgive me but we've stayed together since then and now that there are no lies between us (at least that I know of) we've fallen deeply in love and I mean DEEPLY in love. I hated the school I was at and I ended up transferring to her university for other reasons besides her presence there. I would happily marry this girl now if I had the means of doing so. I cannot picture myself dating or marrying another girl because I'm so in love with her. However, when I ask myself, do I only want to have sex with this one girl for the rest of my life, I cannot happily say yes. The sex we have is fantastic and I couldn't ask for anything better, however, being at a university with girls hitting on me and my younger sisters friends hitting on me makes me wonder if I could have sex with them. I don't want to leave V because she makes me incredibly happy and I couldn't ask for a better partner. So my other option is to stay and cheat. She doesn't deserve a boyfriend that cheats on her and I know it would tear her heart in two, and therefore tear my heart apart as well because I care for her so much. My ideal option is to take a break for a couple years to explore while we are in college (hell im only 18 years old) and get back together and live our lives happily ever after, except I doubt that would happen. My main problem is that I'm too invested in this relationship. We have mostly the same friend groups, her parents adore me and couldn't ask for a better guy for their daughter to be dating. My family LOVES V almost as much as I do. They always buy her concert tickets, bring her on vacation with us, etc. I feel like I can't break up with her because I have no reason to, and so I'm stuck in this relationship but I don't want to tie myself down sexually for the remainder of my life.

 

TLDR: I'm in a perfect relationship and could be for the rest of my life. When I see other really attractive girls I can't help but want to have sex with them and it makes me feel like I'm missing out on a lot of opportunities. Being 18 years old in a college full of beautiful girls only makes me feel worse about limiting myself.

 

I'm going to cancun with my 4 best guy friends (no adults/no girls coming with us) and staying at a resort where many college students visit. I have the perfect opportunity to cheat if I want to. The question is, should I do it or should I stay faithful. The obvious answer for any good boyfriend/girlfriend is to stay faithful and I know that. I should save myself from the guilt and respect my girlfriend because she doesn't do anything wrong to deserve a boyfriend that cheats on her. However, I really really really don't only want to have sex with my current girlfriend for the rest of my life, especially since I'm only 18 years old with plenty of sexual opportunities ahead of me.

 

If anybody has been in a situation like this or has any good advice for me, please help as soon as possible because the cancun trip is next week. This situation has me very stressed and I hope it is understood why.

 

Thanks so much for your reading and consideration,

D49

[dave_1966]

You're 18, she's 18. Your folks know you're not going to be with each other forever. Inevitably one of you will cheat on the other and the whole thing will implode, so yeah, go get your rocks off. At your age it means nothing.

[Wiseman2]

This 49;6573290]do I only want to have sex with this one girl for the rest of my life, I cannot happily say yes. Is consistent with this 49;6573290]I'm currently 18 years oldBe a gentleman and break up with her so you can sow your wild oats without guilt or hurting anyone or leading anyone on.

[Pixels]

Was this exact post made like 1-1.5 weeks ago? Honestly, word for word, it sounds familiar...

 

Anyways, if there's any truth to it... You clearly aren't looking for a long-term relationship, and if you are, you clearly haven't found the person who satisfies you...

 

There's nothing wrong with breaking someone's heart or hurting them. They aren't your business. But you owe them the decency to be an adult and make your intentions clear... You don't have to, but it's a good skill to learn... It's not your duty to be happy, and nobody owes you happiness. Same applies reversed.

 

So just own your own requirements, even if they're only temporary... Own them as temporary requirements...

 

Nobody can blame you for being honest, but it's pretty deplorable to be manipulative...

[nutbrownhare]

Stick with this relationship, at least for now. If you have sex with other girls, and lose V, you'll be haunted for a long time about the relationship you've lost.

 

Chances are that it will die a natural death anyway, as you're both so young - at a stage in life where you're going to be changing, growing, having loads of new experiences and finding out who you really are. It will be much easier to let go when/if you're both ready to, than it would be to have a huge wrench because you want to have experiences with other girls.

 

Stop thinking about the rest of your life. Just getting through the next couple of years is plenty to be getting on with!

[meoww]

The solution is much simpler than you think. Breaking it off, making a clean break, and enjoying your vacation> the hassle of cheating and the resulting domino effect of lasting emotional trauma for everyone involved.

 

Life is a series of trade-offs. I think you already know what you need to do and just posted here for that extra push or validation to get there, that persistent little voice in the back of our minds is rarely wrong about what we truly need.

 

And by the way, no one is ever really ready to settle down. Even now there are people who get married young, but in those cases both parties decide that their relationship is more important that their fleeting sexual desires. You're not "too young" to settle down by today or yesterday's standards. Be a grown up no matter what you decide to do.