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Long Distance Relationship Break up_Ignoring me -Software experts help

dumplings

By dumplings
in Breaking Up Advice

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dumplings Newbie

dumplings

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I don't know where to begin but I have to vent this put through writing before I go insane. I met this guy from Skype and instantly we hit it off we were both simiar in many ways and he was like someone inline with my thoughts, principles and viewpoints.It's like the first time we communicated we never stopped talking about anything under the sun the moon and the stars.He helped me with my computer because he is an expert software programmer I trusted him to go over my compter through a remote set up like teamviewer,I know I could trust him not snooping around my files passwords etc coz i let him do that for 6 months and nothing changed.He definitely got me through a terrible break up from my crazy fiance.Im in China and he's in UK. I love him so much so that we miss each other when I'm at work and doing some errands.

 

Everything went well when I had a famiy problem and I somewhat got depressed and we talked less and less on Skype. We were online watching series like the walking dead, breaking bad and sci fi movies which we both enjoy.I thought for one it was ok for him that way .After work I would come home greet him online videocall for 24 hours and then sleep more and more I had no idea that he that was a red flag for him-not talking. One day he was offline made me worried as f tried to call him get in touch with him somehow,when you're worried you would think of the worst possible scenarios like him being on a motcycle accident.then sent me a message on viber that he felt that if he wouldn't break up with me he would resent himself more. I must admit I'm so selfish that I wasn't being a good gf to him. we were falling out of all it was then that I realized I have to make up to him.I was devastated though that he would break up with me through text coz I know he doesn't want any arguments( gave him headaches,so to speak).He called me up when I said he wasnt man enough and told him he doesn't have the balls to face me.He called me and we got back together,Communication is the key.

 

We reignited out passion for each ither,talking more and more but he had this job that requires him to log out and talk to his boss for developing programs apps and softwares.I trust him coz he hates cheaters.I did my best to cheer him up even bought a cake and a naughty outfit for his birthday-anything to make my man happy. It's very much appreciated of course.

things went well again 2 weeks after his birthday until he let me install Ammyy.exe on my laptop a program that monitors everything on my computer.When I bring my aptop to the office ofc I would my laptop down or put it to sleep the thing is I have to connect to the internet which is a pain in the ass sometimes rest everything etc. then he messaged me that why was Ammyy not turned on for hours I explained to hime everything that I mustve forgot to turn it on bec it's not automatic he said it was bull that AMMYY HAS A REMOTE DNS THAT UPDATES EVERY 15 SECONDS, POWER CUT OR NOT, AMMYY SHOULD HAVE WORKED .Imnot a programmer and all but it would be a common sense haven't worked if I failed to click the start button on it.I was working all the time and i swear to God it must've slipped my mind. He called me and saw my shocked face(AUTOANSWER) -ofc coz I'm at the office and my boss and collegue was in the room plus the skype ringtone was so loud.then messged me again that I was shocked and accusing me of lying and it hurts me that he changed his status to -Do not disturb.He ignored me for days.I missed him that I wanna message him so bad and would wait and wait until I was punching my keys to my keyboards so hard when I attempt to message him.I hate the fact that he could dismiss his feelings for me that quickly.I have never cheated on him.Right now I just sent him that if he would have to say the word and I wont disturb him forever.I said I was upset that he would trust a mere program than me .I was a human error but that's a shallow excuse.I cried so hard about the fact that he doesn't miss me at all I thought he was the one.I feel like I'm gonna lose a good man.I don't know what to do.He's ignoring me now and it kills me,I'm still hoping he would call me face to face, set aside our egos and make it work.It hurts the first time and now I dont even know if he could have at least a closure for this for old time's sake.....

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

Posted
Posted

Okay, look this guy is an EXTREME nut job. You could lose your job because of this man. Take your laptop and have it professionally swept. Never talk to him again . Change your password to everything even your bank account if you do that on your PC.

You are being emotionally abused and electronic surveillance is a type of abuse.

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Pixels Newbie

Pixels

Posted
Posted

Ummm... I wouldn't call myself and expert... But I have a degree, for whatever that's worth...

 

This is seriously f**ked up, and breaches SO many ethical regulations in software programming and computer sciences in general that it's almost definitely a case of criminal activity.

 

In North America you can take your computer and electronics to police and they will perform a thorough and invasive search of your systems.... You sacrifice your privacy, but they're usually thorough about things, and follow-up on whatever they find, as long as you have reason to suspect something's wrong...

 

Otherwise, since people tend to connect devices to their computers (cell phones, mp3 players, usb sticks, etc) it's almost impossible to assume anything's safe without completely wiping the computer and all other devices and restarting fresh.

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browneyedgirl36 Rising Star

browneyedgirl36

Posted
Posted

Glad to hear you're cutting him off. This is awful. At the very least, he's horribly controlling. At worst, he might be some sort of criminal -- an identity thief, a stalker, someone who might hurt you.

 

Yes, take your computer and get it ENTIRELY wiped clean.

 

And, please think seriously about why you would allow this kind of thing -- not only the computer thing, but just his treatment of you in general.

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Pixels Newbie

Pixels

Posted
Posted
Glad to hear you're cutting him off. This is awful. At the very least, he's horribly controlling. At worst, he might be some sort of criminal -- an identity thief, a stalker, someone who might hurt you.

 

Yes, take your computer and get it ENTIRELY wiped clean.

 

And, please think seriously about why you would allow this kind of thing -- not only the computer thing, but just his treatment of you in general.

 

Personally, I almost guarantee this goes deeper than identity theft... Identity theft is relatively easy, and you don't need to personal know the victim...

 

In most cases the perpetrator has no idea who the victim is...

 

There's been a clear breach of a personal computer, and targeted social engineering...

 

This sounds much more personally-motivated, and I would legitimately be concerned about how deeply he's embedded his access to personal information...

 

He's already given reason to believe he's spying on her...

 

It's very plausible that he's spread his connection to her through her cell phone, ipod, or any other device she's ever plugged in to her computer, or communicated to him through.

 

Not to be a doom-sayer... But even in the most harmless outcome, this is something police should be involved with.

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