Attack of the ex's

[Phoenix Down]

Apparently if you want you ex or in this case ex's to call you ask God to pull you family apart and they will come call'n. (please dont do that, it was a figure of speach) My dad closed the book on us (family) and took off with his new chick which is cool I guess, they weren't happy at all (mom and dad) But yeah, I must have some underground a cult watching over me reporting every little messed up thing to the people I dont need sympathy from. This year has been by far the most $%#tty. But seeing as how I found out the same day as they called to check on me is driving me crazy. Bad news travel too fast for me. (I know this sounds crazy but I'm fine with everything, my dad told my brother and I a few months ago what he was doing.) I coulden't say anything, but like I said, they both wern't happy. We are having to take care of my mom tho, she's a wreck. Any time I try to give advice she tells me I don't have the experence and I'm too young to help. I'm still going to try tho, she's my mom. But it's almost like trying to pull someone from a fire while there stabbing you over and over again. Any tips from people who have recovered from devorces? Hepl right about now would be nice. Thanks

Phoenix

[Hope75]

Hi Pheonix,

 

What a tough time this has been for you, I am glad you are holding up so well.

 

Your mom is going through a difficult time I'm sure, and she probably feels alot of resentment towards your dad for leaving, and with someone else, but what you can do for her is just what you've been doing, be there, listen, and when she's ready, she will talk to you. You are both in the same boat and I'm sure she's struggling and probably doesn't want to lean on her son because of some role conflict issues (she might think only you should be able to lean on her, and no you are not too young to offer help, advice and support) but there will come a time when she will, if you stand by quietly.

 

Maybe you could suggest a family counselour for the two of you, just so she has someone else to go with, even if you feel you don't need it?

 

My thoughts go out to your family in this tough time

[Phoenix Down]

I just wish I knew what to do. My brother and I cannot fight her demons she has to. But we can be there when she needs us. She's just become hateful twards me. She even blames it on me from time to time. (I know better than to believe that) but it still sucks to hear it.