1ebonyvixen Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 After A 3 year relationship me and my boyfriend broke up because he cheated. His whole family was shocked that he even had did it. The thing is before I found out that, his mom passed away he went through a lot of stress and I tried to be there for him. And it just happened his phone barely rung ...until she passed.Right after ...he changed a little and you know after you know for somebody for so long you notice when they change their habits. So I just found out one day when he was ignoring a phone call so I looked into it and I found out. It hurts and I know that we had a solid relationship to everything fell apart recently. I wish that I can have him back. Everyone says give him some time, and he's grieving and he's lost but honestly I want him back I want him back the way he was before this happened I miss him a lot everything was solid before this happened why did it happen? Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 You can't wind the clock back and he cannot un-cheat. Some relationships do get back on track despite cheating but most don't. I would concentrate on healing. He is not the same person you fell in love with. Link to comment
DoF Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Be careful, if you get back with him you accept cheating going forward. I would suggest STD......and break it off for good. You deserve WAY better than that. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 If cheating is his way of dealing with stress you need to ask yourself why you want to be with him. Did he ever admit to the cheating? Is he still with her?After A 3 year relationship me and my boyfriend broke up because he cheated. I just found out one day when he was ignoring a phone call so I looked into it and I found out. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 So everytime he's very stressed out, he can go bang some other chick? F-NO! Link to comment
bulletproof Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 everything was solid before this happened why did it happen? I don't know that everything was solid before this. Many people experience the death of a loved one and don't view it as an opportunity to cheat on their partner. It didn't really just "happen." He chose for it to happen. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 When my father died I didn't cheat on the guy I was seeing. I turned to him for comfort. You can keep trying to read other reasons into why he did it, but the whole "he lost his mom/stress" thing doesn't really hold water. If someone cheats when life is bad it's a guarantee they'll cheat every time life is bad then using that logic. And if someone can't be adult enough to face the bad times--and there are bad times always, it's life duh--then why on earth would you want them with you? You tried to be there for this guy and his response was to cheat? I'm sorry, no. I think he cheated before that, this is just the one you found out about and he's pulling out the whole "I was under stress/loss" excuse. When my father died, when my best friend died, when my pets died the last thing I wanted was sex, and from someone outside of my partner? Doubly so. Not buying it and you shouldn't either. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 If you get back with him without him having worked with a psychologist to find out why he would turn to someone for sex outside of his relationship for comfort rather then to turn to the woman he is suppose to love, then you will be cheated on yet again in your future with him. He needs to fix his lack of self-worth his dismal personal boundaries and his lack of confidence first or he will just look to validate himself in the arms of others yet again when life gets in the way. He will particularly do this if he is enabled by you taking him back without having to suffer the consequences of his actions and without having to get that professional help. Know this and act accordingly. Protect your emotional well being. Better to hurt and heal now then to get shredded further down the line after you reconcile with someone who doesn't know how to cope and chooses to cheat to soothe himself yet again. Your friends are no friends if they are telling you to leave him be and he will come around. They should be telling you to leave him be and accept that you made the right decision on breaking up with him. BTW: Chances are high that he was having something to do with this other woman long before his mother's death. Link to comment
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