I made it a week, now what?

[Bliss09]

Hi guys,

 

I've posted a few times on here over the past two weeks concerning my girlfriend and I's break up. As the dumpee, I have still been struggling to cope. I'm now in a constant battle with my mind. I have had limited contact with her for 2 weeks, and NC for one. I have had a lot of time on my own to evaluate, and look at the relationship for what it was, not what I believed it to be.

 

That aside, the relationship ended in an odd fashion. She explained she needed space, and that it was space she could have with me living there. I moved out last weekend. I have seen her once sense, and it did not go well. Here I am, 7 days no contact and still confused as ever.

 

I wait for my phone to ring, I cling to the hope she may come back. I go back and forth between calling, texting, and then nothing. From my point of view, and how I was raised, when something is broken, and you care for the person, you fix it. I feel like nothing is being accomplished by just sitting here. I have started working out again, focusing on work and friends, but she always come back into my mind at the slightest reminder.

 

I have contemplated calling her and asking her to meet. Asking her to tell me it's completely over so I can move on. Just giving me any way to destroy this false hope as I obviously can't do it on my own. However, I haven't. For fear that she won't talk to me, and fear of being ignored, and losing any progress made over the past week.

 

I guess my question is, has anyone ever been stuck in this same situation?

 

Should I ask her to meet up and talk?

 

Is a month too long to wait for someone, who may never come back?

[Wolfshook]

Now make it a month.

 

Whatever she tells you wont be enough. You have all the closure you need,but it needs to get into your head and your heart.

 

Now after a week of nc, give it a month of nc. She will contact you, I'm 100% sure about that, but it might not be what you want,so dont wait on her, enjoy your life.

 

Btw however much you think you figured things out in 3 weeks,you havent, same was for me ,it took me more than 3 months to get clear with things,and I still havent fixed myself.

 

Oh and watch the swingers movie.

[SenseCanada]

Bliss!

 

I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you. Almost exactly the same thing happened to me in December last year. I'm still holding on to NC. And if I could change anything about this period after the break up I would go NC earlier. Since the breakup I actually never watched her social media and I'm so glad I haven't because it helps me sooooo much.

 

I'm still heartbroken and feelings are like a rollercoaster.

I work out a lot and keep on focusing on my day job. Investing time and energy to find myself.

After a couple of days of analyzing and thinking.

I've realized I lost my identity, I didn't take care of myself and only put effort in the relationship and her.

So now I'm doing everything to get myself back, the love for myself.

 

It's hard, you will bump into a lot of stuff in this healing process. But for everyday you heal you will start to think with your brain instead of your heart.

 

Things will get better.

Things are better for me now if you compare to how it was 2-3 months ago. It's not good but it's better.

 

If you want to talk just PM me.

I can share a lot of stuff I found out is helping me. Specially in the beginning of this healing journey.

 

And mate, don't contact her. I promise you. You won't regret it.

She took your dignity away. Keep the little bit you have left.

 

I did the misstake contacting her and even had sex couple of days after. Man that made it so much worse.

 

Love

[Sarah691607309662]

The most crucial condition that has to be taken care of when healing after the break up is to remove any hope on reconciliation. It is the lingering hope that prevent us from moving on. We can get stuck for years.

 

In order to heal, one has to remove the hope. If for this you need to contact your ex and ask her to confirm that there is no hope, do it! it is for your own good. See, right now you are thinking of contacting your ex with the hope that she would come back, that she might say something encouraging, but if you ask her to meet you in order to help you to move on and to confirm that the relationship is over, it will remove any hope that lingers and it might help you to move on.

 

Some people do not need ex to kill the hope. They decide themselves that it is done and even if she will be coming back, it is over anyways.if you are capable of that, then make this decision and move on from that.

 

In other words - you have options!

[SenseCanada]

So what if she says "maybe in the future" ? I think it's best to kill it, go healing and when you're stronger and time went past. You can give it a try if you want. A No will set you back then to but not as much as right now.

[catfeeder]

I have started working out again, focusing on work and friends,

 

I'd keep doing more of this, and I'd broaden my reach to explore new interests and make more friends.

 

I would not try to contact an ex who broke up with me. I'd trust that if we're a meant to be deal, she'll recognize that on her own and we'll meet on higher ground someday--but someday is not NOW--and higher ground is a place you'll each need to reach on your own.

 

I'd focus on my own climb to that place, and from there you'll be able to make the best decisions going forward.

 

Head high, and continue No Contact.