Does this site help

[joe-bloe]

I learn a lot on this site and get great advice , but does it really help. I keep coming on this site to try and get the ex back , but the truth is that its over. This site just prolongs the false hope and pain.

[ang3l2004]

That's not always the case mabe for you but mabe not for all,Either way you need lots of time to heal trust me I know,Wish you the best of luck and be strong

 

Also this is a place you can vent and ask for advice and just let thing's out that you need to let out.

[CarterJonas]

Yes I think that the site does help; if only to know and share your feelings with others in a similar situation. I am also glad to hear that you have accepted that the relationship is over. This is probably the most difficult thing to do.

[ang3l2004]

You mentioned that you want your ex back?What thing's have you done to try to get the ex back?So now you realize that it's over is that your decision or do you just basically give up?

[melrich]

I don't think that this site should ever be thought of as a place to come to help get your ex back. there is no magic formula for that. Ex b/f, g/f relationships are just a small part of what this site is about.

 

Mainly it is a place where people can come with their problems (whatever they may be) and ask for help and advice. The reason it works is it is a "safe" place. No one knows who you are, most people don't try and "judge" you.

 

Even if you do not like the advice you get, and many don't, it usually helps to talk things out and get another perspective.

[joe-bloe]

I thought about it. It does help , it helped me realize that I had done nothing wrong in my relationship. She just does not know what she wants in life , she was looking for a fairy tale relationship. .I learned to stop beating myself up because I did everything right , its her loss not mine. I get good advice from people that helps with the pain ( for a short time anyways)

[ang3l2004]

Well it's good that you are doing better,That you realized it just was not right

[joe-bloe]

You mentioned that you want your ex back?What thing's have you done to try to get the ex back?So now you realize that it's over is that your decision or do you just basically give up?

 

I tried to be a friend to my ex , but then she started to avoid me because she knew I still had feelings for her.

 

There comes a time when gotta wake up and realize that its over.

[volution]

This site isn't about helping people to get back together with an ex.

Rarely does it happen, and often it will hurt even more when inevitably you break up again.

 

There is nothing on this planet other than yourself and your ex that could get you back together again. To place hope onto a website, or anything else, in helping you get back together is misguided.

 

Sorry to be so blunt - but this site is more about helping people recover after broken relationships, or advising them on current relationships.

I can sense you're angry and upset, and perhaps bitter - and looking for something to blame. I have been the same in the past, and I think most people do go through the same emotions.

The spirit of this site is to remind people - they aren't alone in their aloneness.

[Iceman26]

Going after ex's is false hope and pain, glad you are one of the few that have realized it man.

 

This site offers more then just help on exes though. I rarely ever give advice on how to get ex's back. I haven't taken an ex back since I was 14 and I feel sorry for the people that continually cry and whine and cling to the past and their glorified memories of their exes and cant move on with their lives.

 

Good Luck!

[DragonGirl724]

joe,

 

i agree a lot of people on here thrive off of false hope & others feed off of it as well. this is why i try to be as blunt & honest as i can be with people. misery loves company & at times i think this websyte is proof. but it also has a lot of intelligent people willing to share their experiences to help others. at least that why im here now. some people need to log offline & log back into their lives that are passing them by.

 

-DG724

[Hope75]

Going after ex's is false hope and pain....

 

..... I haven't taken an ex back since I was 14 and I feel sorry for the people that continually cry and whine and cling to the past and their glorified memories of their exes and cant move on with their lives.

 

Iceman,

 

Ouch! Speaking as someone who is hoping for a second chance, I don't think it is about crying and whining about the past and my glorified memories. I take personal offense at your comment.

 

My ex and I are back together, tentatively, and I do not believe he is a perfect man, or that our relationship in the past was perfect. Obviously, if that were the case, we would not have broken up in the first place.

 

What I do know is that we love each other, and sometimes there is the possibility of finding your way back, and making it work. This doesn't happen for everyone, and it may not happen for me, but I'd like to give it a try, without being accused of being unable to get on with my life, thankyou very much.

 

I am an attractive, intelligent 29 year old woman with a sharp sense of humor, I am back in school making a career change and making straight A's. I have excellent friends and family, and an active social life.

 

There are a few others on this website who are in my position and though I can't speak for anyone but me, I suspect they might feel offended at what you said also.

 

Try to be nice, there are lots of different painful situations regarding exes and putting it in black and white like that is cruel, and ignorant.

 

Hope

[DN]

it also has a lot of intelligent people willing to share their experiences to help others. at least that why im here now. -DG724

 

I think you are intelligent as well DG724. That's two of us now.

[DragonGirl724]

hope,

 

in a way i know what iceman is talking about..hes referring to people who cry & whine & dont do anything about it! and in return expect us on the forum to tell them itll all be ok & a miracle will happen & not to worry. those who live for getting their ex back. and meanwhile nothing may happen & a year down the line theyre cryin the same blues as they were a year prior...not taking anyone's advice that was wise & helpful. those whod rather dwell on the misery & not make a change in their life but would rather post & complain about it.

 

-DG724

[chai714]

This site just prolongs the false hope and pain

 

It's not site that prolongs the false hope. This site is merely a place in cyberspace where people exchange ideas and information. It's a cyber entity, which can be classified as an object. An object can not give one false hope or pain.

 

If you are giving yourself false hope as a result of coming to this site, I would recommend taking the words here more lightly. Like others have stated, this site can be very helpful a lot of the time, as there are some very knowledgable people here.

[Hope75]

Dragongirl,

 

If he means people who do nothing and expect others to tell them a miracle is possible than I can see the frustration too.

 

I just want him to be a little more careful of what he says to his general audience, there are alot of dumpees here who might be sensitive to his comments, including myself.

[DN]

I know I have said this before but it is not true that you can never get your ex back. It is rare, true, but I know people who broke up and got back together. A cousin for one. And Abraham Lincoln ditched Mary Todd at the altar but they were married later on.

[DragonGirl724]

This site just prolongs the false hope and pain

 

It's not site that prolongs the false hope. This site is merely a place in cyberspace where people exchange ideas and information. It's a cyber entity, which can be classified as an object. An object can not give one false hope or pain.

 

If you are giving yourself false hope as a result of coming to this site, I would recommend taking the words here more lightly. Like others have stated, this site can be very helpful a lot of the time, as there are some very knowledgable people here.

 

chai,

 

speaking from personal experience early last year i posted about my ex & said all this stuff...that originally i saw the way it should be looked at, but people on here distilled this false hope in me & said what i was thinking wasnt the case & indeed it was the exact opposite....in all honesty it screwed me over for a long time..it haulted my healing & put temporary false hopes into full trottle. doing more damage than good. i then learned on my own as i always have in the past....which i feel is the most successful & longest lasting way to learn anyway.

 

-DG724

[DN]

Anecdotal evidence is always suspect when trying to draw general conclusions. Most of the advice on here can help or not help according to circumstance and individual cases. But I was very pleased and flattered when someone said that advice I gave brought a new spark into her relationship. But someone else dismissed much the same advice as of no use to them.

 

You should take such advice as seems to make sense to you and disregard the rest

[Leges39]

I will say that this site has provided me with so much help i wish i had found it before i made so many mistakes with my ex.

 

regarding false hopes, i have never been given false hopes by anyone on this site. sure, i may have been told that it is possible and that it may happen that i get back with an ex, but only after being told it is all about me and healing and becoming the man i was when i met her, which then may make me desireable again, but if not, i worked on my self and will meet someone new.

 

The advice i have always been given on this site has been useful, itelligent, and at times, very blunt. i am a better person now, but, again, i wish i had found it early on in my breakup, because i would have steared clear of many actions i know pushed my ex even further away from us.

[DragonGirl724]

it also has a lot of intelligent people willing to share their experiences to help others. at least that why im here now. -DG724

 

I think you are intelligent as well DG724. That's two of us now.

 

thanks DN. and i know there are a lot of other wise posters on here, as im sure you are aware of as well. but the only thing that deciphers intelligent people from those who arent as intelligent, is if they learn from their mistakes.

 

an example of how being oblivious gets you into trouble: ANIMAL A runs out in the middle of the road & gets clipped by a car, gets hurt, runs back to safety, & learns not to run accross the road when a car is coming....he lives to see another day...

 

ANIMAL B: runs out in the middle of the road, gets clipped by a car gets hurt, runs back to safety, & the next day does the same thing....his days are numbered.

 

in all walks of nature, the oblivious creatures are clearly doomed. their mistakes, (instead of learning from them & becoming stronger wiser individuals), can be their cause of ruination.

 

-DG724

[Hope75]

I agree with DN, that's really what this website is made up of, anecdotal advice.

 

Different people perceive different situations in diiferent ways, and everybody has thier own experiences that have shaped them and caused them to believe what they will, and they share it here, a load of diverse opinions.

 

I think this website is a great place to vent and get different opinons, but ultimately the decisions are our own, and how we choose to interpret the advice given is up to us.

 

(as evidenced by my recent cranky response to Iceman's comments! )

[caramellabacix]

it is the people on this site that truly do help. they've helped me realize that i was just getting used and that i deserved better. they reassured me that "the right guy" would respect me, and not play games with me. this site helps only if you can accept that what the people here might tell you may not be the exact thing that you want to hear. people get stuck in traps because they keep trying to convince themselves that everything is going to be okay on it's own. if people can get over their denial, then they can truly face the facts and make a change for themselves.

[DragonGirl724]

if people can get over their denial, then they can truly face the facts and make a change for themselves.

 

very well said caramella. that is the only circumstance that this forum can be of great help. thats how you get the most success out of it. Kudos to you!

 

-DG724

[Iceman26]

I give the blunt, honest truth from my point of view gained from over 20 years of hard experience in most categories this website has to offer.

 

Some people may view my comments as insensitive, and thats fine. I wont curb my words (except the foul language of course) and feelings just to please or coddle someone nor do I feel guilty or sorry if someone finds them insensitive. Life is too short for me to worry if everyone thinks I am wrong or right or politically correct; it is what it is; my opinion. Obviously, if you read some of my other posts, I am here to help, not piss people off, and if people dont like my advice or comments they can skip to the next poster.

 

My comments are a mixture of both frustration and annoyance. Frustrated because I know that these are good people who can do better than what they are doing and my goal coming here is to help show them they CAN do better, and annoyed when people complain and whine, never listen to the people who bother to respond to them and never do anything to better their situation yet keep droning on and on about how life sucks and no one cares.

 

I am glad your situation worked out for you Hope75, and I hope it continues to work out for you. It is rare indeed for a case like yours to work out. Now theres my cranky response