WHy is this happenning to me...Y can I just stay cool????

[esboogie143]

Yea....its me again. I must say that things have gotten better over the past week or so. He emails me everyday when he's at work. He has called me (not frequently) but has and its been great. BUT today he didnt go into work...and I have major anxiety. I called his job and he didnt go in today. I called his cell and its off...OMG...why is this happenning to me ...why can I just chill out and relax...I hate when this happens to me. I really need to slow down and take it one day at a time...he's not my man....ya know...?? Last night he called me telling me that he was gonna go to his friends house (y...i have no clue- he use to tell me things like that when we were 2gether) anyhow...when he called he said "aww is my baby walking in the snow?) I played it off really sweet and answerd him and cont'd the convo....I dont want to fall back and get hooked on him even more...I dont want to fall in any traps or games...ya know...its just hard...I love him and Im hoping that things will stay like this and just get better....Then why the hell am I so anxious????? Please someone give me some advise...Thanks!

[esboogie143]

Im such an idiot!!!!!! HE just called me and said that he got in...and then he says u cant call my job like that...you called twice...I was like im sorry i wont call again!!!!!!!!!!! IM AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW IM REALLY NOT GONNA CALL HIM!!!!

[tanned_production]

I think you just need to taker easy... You two aren't dating anymore... you don't need to keep tabs on him, and know his every move. Don't take this personally, but hes a big boy, and he can take care of himself.

 

If he's up for it, maybe go out for coffee... something casual. Things won't stay the same or get better if either of you are hovering.

 

In the meantime, do something to take your mind off of the situation... to relieve the stress.

 

Good luck and I'm sure everything will be fine!

 

[Beec]

Self-control, self-control, self-control to the extent you may seem cold-blooded.

 

OK, but you didn't exercise it. What to do now to did yourself out of seeming needy and emotional?

 

Well, I would play it off as you being worried about him. It was snowing, soemthing could have happened, and you can tell him that no matter what happens between us, I will and still do care about you, so yes, you were worried. Can you pull off making that kind of statement and make it seem real?

[mt_joy]

You really need some self-control. Stop calling him; let him call you! If he wants to be with you, he will ask you out. Stop worrying about him. I know it's hard, but you CAN get over this.

[RayKay]

Phew, okay....you definitely need to work on that self control as said above!

 

Take things as they come day by day. You are still trying too hard to fix it all back to where it was before instead of treating it like a new relationship and taking it as it comes. Instead, you are coming off as desperate/needy. Not that attractive, you must be able to admit! Let him come to you. Let HIM work at it a bit.

 

Remember how I suggested before DON'T bring up the relationship with him unless HE does first or you both agree to talk about it? Well, this is the same sort of things that can push him away....so everytime you start getting worked up and want to call or start feeling anxious like this, give yourself one hour to do something else entirely. Go workout, have a nap, read a book, call a friend, come on here and write or write in a journal, go for a walk, do some yoga, paint, throw on some music, clean the floors...it does not matter WHAT as long as it is something you can throw yourself into for that period of time.

 

When the hour is up, re evaluate whether you REALLY need to call him or not. Chances are you no longer will "have" to and will see that you were reacting too quickly and not rationally.

[esboogie143]

Thank you all. I must say that we are going to have dinner on Thursday night...so right then and there I have to have self control. This would be like the ultimate test. He has been the one emailing me from work and calling me..I just HAVE TO HAVE SELF CONTOL AND PLAY IT COOL! Other than that does anyone have any advise about Thurs when I see him?

[Beec]

Treat it exactly as if you were on a first date with someone you have known for a long time, and make it a date that you were not quite sure was supposed to be a date. A situation like one in which a friend has said let's go get drinks or dinner, but did not make it clear because there was a romantic interest. You want to be upbeat, friendly, smiling, and just enjoy the date and be fun. Does that make sense?

[esboogie143]

thank y0ou Beec...and yes like always it makes perfect sense...

[Beec]

esboogie, you are making my head swell. Good luck Thursday night.

 

Where are you going? pm me if you want a suggestion for NYC.

 

And do not think this will be easy. From your posts it is pretty clear you still are pretty emotional about the breakup. Those emotions need to be sucked up and stuffed away for the night. You do not care about the breakup, you do not want to talk about it, it is a non-issue. You don't know what you want if he asks. Any idea that the break up was a problem for you is a drop of rain water that slid off you like it would slide down a window, only touching the surface and then running right off. NO EMOTION about it at all. You are happy and easy-going. OK, end of lecture.