Ladies, would you do this ?

[Marko]

my ex broke up with me 5 weeks ago.

 

She still calls me every couple days or so just to say "hi". When I ask if she misses me, she says yes.

 

is this a sign that she wants me back?

 

should i resume not contacting her, or should i fill the gaps when she doesn't contact me with an occasional call of my own ?

[blukangarou]

my bloke broke up with me about 5 weeks ago too,

i call him and tell him i miss him, he says the same thing but i have't got a clue whats going through his mind,

we were together for nearly 5 years.

i kinda feel i'm in your ex's poission, and i would love to hear from my ex,

you'll have to ask yourself why you broke up, and do you both still love eachother?

i'm not the best person to give advice, but i hope i have helped a little, if you post a reply i will read it and try to help a little more,

take care x

[Marko]

She broke up with me because she felt she didn't make me happy (she is really insecure, she made me really happy) and she was convinced that she was holding me back from moving back to chicago from florida. (i really screwed that up, always comparing the 2).

 

She says she cares about me a lot and doesn't want me out of her life. She has told me she loves me. She has told me that no other guy made her feel like I do and that she loves being with me.

 

since we have broken up, I have called her maybe 3 times. she has called about 2 dozen.

 

the last time we went out as friends, 3 weeks ago, we had sex. she said it was a huge mistake and I freaked out. She has since called me a bunch of times.

 

Why would she call???

[tanned_production]

shes gonna call you cause she still loves you...

Isnt it obvious? (Im not trying to be rude)

But... if someone did that for me... I'd know they still cared and needed me.

Call her

[blukangarou]

it seems she is still in love with you, but (this might sound horrible) maybe she likes the drama, i think if shes willing, to sit and talk to her face to face, you can then really talk to her, tell her what she means to you and how she made you feel (happy)

get her to talk about why shes so inscure, reassure her that shes safe with you and you would'nt hurt her, maybe sleeping together freaked her out, and she thought about what shes missing, but thought you would'nt forgive her for the break up.

i can totally relate to you and how you feel,

x

[Marko]

since the actuall break up she has shied away from any sort of conversation on the topic. She will not discuss it and gets angry when i try.

 

I told her all that stuff about how she makes me happy. 2 days after we broke up I wrote a stupid song and sang and played it for her on guitar (it should be mentioned that i DON'T know how to play guitar!!) and she cried like a baby.

 

when I tried to work things out, she kept saying that she made up her mind and wasn't going to change it...that she doesn't change her mind. she's really stubborn.

 

i don't want to call cuz i don't want to look too needy. We worked togther, and I had to quit because I was such a mess at work and I know this made me look really bad. She was sad that i quit tho.

 

what if friendship is all she truly wants? i couldn't handle that.

[Luscious]

To me it sounds as if she is really confused about something or if there's more to it than what she's telling you. I'm assuming you didn't cheat or verbally, physically or mentally abuse her and she leaves you b/c she says she doesn't think she makes you happy? After you told her she does, she still doesn't want to get back together, she still loves you and continues to call you.

You said that she's stubborn and when her mind is made up it made up, are actions are confusing me and I'm not even in the situation.

 

What I suggest is that you need to pull your self away from the situation and continue the no contact and if she calls try to talk to her on a friendly level, you need to protect your heart b/c she doesn't know what she wants.

In a relationship there should be a communication path and if she loves you like she says she does she will try and communicate her being stubborn is not a good reason.

Anyway be careful and protect yourself from being hurt again.

Thats my 5cents.

[blukangarou]

i understand that just being friends would hurt, as you seem like you've been through alot of stuff together,

and as for her getting angry when you try and talk about it, maybe theres something that you don't know about her, something in her past thats been resurfced, maybe you could talk to one of her friends to find out whats going on, or just call her, beacuse if you think about it too much it will eat away at you, you'll start going mad,

what have you gotta loose if you do call or what could you gain?

x

[djedix]

At least she's calling you. Mine left about 4-5 weeks ago and she never called me after we split. I broke down 3 times and called or tex'd her. it's been almost 3 weeks with no contact whatso ever. everyone i tell can not understand it, and neather can i... It sucks, and it's pretty painful.

[Marko]

i know for a fact there is nothing she is not telling me. wewere together almost 24/7 before we broke up so it was not possible for her to meet anybody.

 

she's been hanging w/ the couple we used to double with and they have assured me that there is no one new.

 

plus with her schedule, she has been working A LOT.

 

In a sense im not sure that she wanted things to escalate to this level, but they have (me freaking out/quitting my job/leaving town for 2 weeks) and maybe she feels like she has to go thru with it now...

 

i dunno.

 

its really rough tho.

[Jimbo10]

shes gonna call you cause she still loves you...

Isnt it obvious? (Im not trying to be rude)

But... if someone did that for me... I'd know they still cared and needed me.

Call her

 

well, that could well be true, but here is what I think

 

She still loves you, she just isn't IN love with you anymore. She misses you because your friends as well as ex-lovers. It'll take time, maybe you could try the friendship thing!

 

Good luck

[Marko]

usually I would agree with somthing like that, but feelings changing had nothing to do with our break up.

 

She felt I didn't make her happy, that we got on each others nerves from time to time, and she was scared i would leave florida.

 

a few days before we broke up, i casually mentioned that she should think about living in chi-town for a year to give it a chance. an hour before our break up, she heard me speaking w/ some fellow chicagoans who had relocated here, and we were bashing florida left and right. She never mentioned that, but I knew she was listening and i knew it had a part in it.