I read it is selfish to not let someone go any thoughts???

[brando]

Not only is it selfish it is a lack of respect. If it isnt working let them go. It gives them an opportunity to find someone who will accept them as they are, as well as our selves.

 

any thoughts??????

[Jimbo10]

I don't think that's right

 

What would really be wrong would be to fake a relationship. Don't do that! If you don't enjoy your relationship, why would you stay and break someones heart even worse, and waste even more time??? Don't do that!

 

I think if things arn't going right, end it sooner than later, otherwise someone is going to end up a lot more hurt than is necsisary!

 

Just my 2 cents

Jimbo

[justagirl20f]

I absolutely 100% agree. My brother is currently in a relationship now with a girl that's completely horrid, and he doesn't even like her let alone love her. Yet he refuses to break up with her. I don't know why.

 

But even though I strongly dislike her for all she's put my brother through, and even though we will never welcome her into our family, I think it's cruel of him to hang onto her until he's ready to leave her (read: until he has a functional relationship with someone better) and I think it's extremely selfish and no better than some of the stuff she's done to him.

[brando]

i definitely see your point.

 

but say your girl wanted to end it... she wasnt happy fell out of love,,, whatever excuse is used. If you loved that person truly loved that person, why hang on. i guess my point im referring to is for those of us who want to change our partners.

[HeavenLee]

Hmmmm, the interesting thing about wanting to change a partner is this... then we don't really love them for who they are, or accept them for who they are. Compromise, by all means... but to try to change a partner into someone we want them to be is also selfish... it's purely for one's own benefit and I don't think people really think about whether this "change" will make the partner happy.

 

I absolutely agree that it is selfish not to let go. Ya, it hurts. But if the other person decides to end the relationship, for whatever reason, then that is simply their choice... it's not their fault, blaming is useless... it's a decision that they have made for themselves and must be respected. Trying to change their mind or hang on in the hope that they will see the light is not really productive anyway... if they want to come back, they will. I suppose it's one of those things that's always easier said than done though.

 

And I guess it's one of those things that we can only truly see with hindsight... (what a wonderfully useless tool that can be)!!!!

[Mun]

I think this is a very interesting way to look at things. I can see where I care for someone but yet know they are not my type at all or I'm thinking "if only he would change this or that". If I'm going to make him and myself miserable by not accepting him as is...then yes I should let him go.

 

Easier said than done though. If you can be that person that is able to let someone go and wish them the best then I think you have achieved some major good-karma points.

[RainaBabe]

Muneca, I just want to say that your posts and replies are always VERY reassuring and spot-on.

[djedix]

If they are not happy, then let them go. No point in trying to make something work that wont. You'll end up hurting yourself, or each other more in the end.

 

Like HeavenLee said Trying to change their mind or hang on in the hope that they will see the light is not really productive anyway... if they want to come back, they will. I suppose it's one of those things that's always easier said than done though.