Am I overthinking this?

[Wiseguy90]

Background Info:

 

She an I dated for approximately 2 years. Was an instant connection when we met at work.we are both established and have our "baggage", she is also a couple years my senior. We both fell madly for each other, the honeymoon phase never seemed to end. We professed our feelings freely and had an unbelievable level of mutual respect towards one another. I've dated women, been in relationships, yet have never experienced what I felt with this woman. She expressed similar feelings. This was legitimate.

 

At the time we were both dealing with various life stressors. Although they had little impact on our relationship, it was obvious we, especially myself (these feelings scared me), needed to address these issues before we progressed. Neither of us were ready for anything long term, so we decided to deal with our issues separately.

 

We both moved to different areas in the company, had no contact for the past 7-8 months. In that time I reflected on life, met other people, enjoyed my time. It was a necessity for my own personal growth. All the while I never forgot this woman and our experience. I cherished it, knowing she taught me several things (how to feel comfortable trusting someone, loving someone, being a good partner). Yet I left her alone out of respect for my decision to figure out things.

 

Fast forward to the last two months. She took an opportunity to be in a new department, something she was striving for. I heard this and expressed congratulations. I also wanted to avoid any awkwardness knowing we would likely cross paths now.

 

Since this initial message we have conversed regularly. At times it is personal, but the emphasis is on being professional. We both make comments about the past, but it's left there. Until the other day. She made a comment to me about another couple we know (how they were made for each other). I agreed, to which she made a second comment about how it's interesting how some people mesh perfect,y and seem to just get along. I left this alone.

 

Im I foolish to think this means nothing or is she just making casual conversation?

 

Your comments are appreciated.

[mhowe]

I think she was commenting on the couple. You said you both had mutual respect for each other so I don't think she is playing games.

 

Some people are with us only for a season(or short time) to help us learn and grow.

[skern]

I'm feeling strongly that she is putting her feelers out there. While I don't know it would be a successful relationship since you guys were not able to get past the initial honeymoon phase, there was no a bad breakup or negative enough feelings there. She still has an emotional bond with you that will likely never be gone, however, be warned, that this does not mean it makes sense, especially in your current professional state to get involved. If you feel like it's worth it to see what's there, I'd say proceed with caution and while you can make it personal, keep it platonic for now.

 

[dave_1966]

I'm feeling strongly that she is putting her feelers out there. While I don't know it would be a successful relationship since you guys were not able to get past the initial honeymoon phase, there was no a bad breakup or negative enough feelings there. She still has an emotional bond with you that will likely never be gone, however, be warned, that this does not mean it makes sense, especially in your current professional state to get involved. If you feel like it's worth it to see what's there, I'd say proceed with caution and while you can make it personal, keep it platonic

 

 

Skern, what's that weblnk for?

[Wiseguy90]

I think she was commenting on the couple. You said you both had mutual respect for each other so I don't think she is playing games.

 

Some people are with us only for a season(or short time) to help us learn and grow.

 

I would like to believe this isn't a cruel game. Her observation just seemed too close to home to be a casual comment. I do believe people enter your life for specific purposes. In our initial face to face conversation post no contact I thanked her for teaching me so much during our time together.

[Wiseguy90]

I'm feeling strongly that she is putting her feelers out there. While I don't know it would be a successful relationship since you guys were not able to get past the initial honeymoon phase, there was no a bad breakup or negative enough feelings there. She still has an emotional bond with you that will likely never be gone, however, be warned, that this does not mean it makes sense, especially in your current professional state to get involved. If you feel like it's worth it to see what's there, I'd say proceed with caution and while you can make it personal, keep it platonic for now.

 

bit.ly/1naemxr

 

Agreed. Any movement on my part should be cautious. My instincts are suggesting I maintain the current situation.

[Mari]

Background Info:

 

She an I dated for approximately 2 years. Was an instant connection when we met at work.we are both established and have our "baggage", she is also a couple years my senior. We both fell madly for each other, the honeymoon phase never seemed to end. We professed our feelings freely and had an unbelievable level of mutual respect towards one another. I've dated women, been in relationships, yet have never experienced what I felt with this woman. She expressed similar feelings. This was legitimate.

 

At the time we were both dealing with various life stressors. Although they had little impact on our relationship, it was obvious we, especially myself (these feelings scared me), needed to address these issues before we progressed. Neither of us were ready for anything long term, so we decided to deal with our issues separately.

 

We both moved to different areas in the company, had no contact for the past 7-8 months. In that time I reflected on life, met other people, enjoyed my time. It was a necessity for my own personal growth. All the while I never forgot this woman and our experience. I cherished it, knowing she taught me several things (how to feel comfortable trusting someone, loving someone, being a good partner). Yet I left her alone out of respect for my decision to figure out things.

 

Fast forward to the last two months. She took an opportunity to be in a new department, something she was striving for. I heard this and expressed congratulations. I also wanted to avoid any awkwardness knowing we would likely cross paths now.

 

Since this initial message we have conversed regularly. At times it is personal, but the emphasis is on being professional. We both make comments about the past, but it's left there. Until the other day. She made a comment to me about another couple we know (how they were made for each other). I agreed, to which she made a second comment about how it's interesting how some people mesh perfect,y and seem to just get along. I left this alone.

 

Im I foolish to think this means nothing or is she just making casual conversation?

 

Your comments are appreciated.

 

Are you interested in pursuing a relationship with her? Do you still have things left to figure out? Would it be ok if she married someone else? It sounds like the person that put this relationship on hold is primarily you. And you view it as such an awesome thing it's like you got yourself a million dollar car. So instead of driving it you want to keep it in the garage so that it can remain awesome forever and not risk it getting into an accident. And that's where the comparison breaks down, you can't remain in the honeymoon phase forever. She isn't going to remain this young, or remain this single. Eventually, she's going to start moving on. She may have waited for you to figure things out but after a while this relationship is going to be that awesome million dollar car you never drive, so instead you drive a different car but at least you get to drive it.

 

If you want to have a relationship with her and are ready tell her you're ready. Stop playing these games where you're guessing what she wants and what you want and you have to be careful or the relationship might go bad. You're this careful and you haven't been having a relationship with her.

[saluk]

It's not a game, it's just one of those things that comes up. She probably winced internally as soon as she said it. You guys will always have a connection because of your past and how well it went.