Trying to make a decision

[rosecolored108]

Alright, I will try to make this as short as possible.

 

Background: My ex and I were together for seven years. Our relationship was mostly good, until the last year. He and I both had a lot of career stress, and I was traveling a lot. When I would return home from being away on business, I would want to spend a lot of time with him, which he did not have as he was busy at work. We began to fight a lot about this and began drifting apart. He was also having issues with commitment, which he eventually admitted. He felt like we had to get engaged, and he didn't think he was ready. Finally (last June), he asked to take some time apart. We lived together, and I eventually moved out into another place.

 

We have kept in touch throughout the last few months. We talked a lot (too much) the first few months post break-up. Eventually, we started talking less and less and both decided it would be good to go out and meet new people.

 

About a month ago, we started talking a lot more and hanging out again. I told him that the space showed me that I wanted to be with him. I have started a new job (with a lot less stress and traveling) and his career has kind of settled. He agreed, and he told me he loved me and saw a future with me.

 

The problem is, we have both started seeing other people. The guy that I have recently been seeing is still pretty casual, and I don't think it will be a problem ending that. He has been seeing the same girl for a few months, though he stated they are not exclusive. He told me that, recently, he has realized she is "crazy," and he doesn't know how to end it without there being a confrontation. He has basically used her as a rebound. He basically wants me to wait for him to figure out how to end it. I have been waiting for roughly 3-4 weeks now. She still keeps calling him, and he said he doesn't know what to do to get rid of her.

 

Do you think that is just an excuse? My feeling is that, if he truly wanted to be with me, he would just cut her off, regardless of the consequences. Is that asking too much? He has also admitted that he is worried I will hold resentment against him for starting up with someone new. I told him, if he shows some initiative, and makes it work with me, that will not be the case.

 

What should I do? Should I just be patient and see how this goes and just keep living my life? Or do I cut ties and move on? I want to be with him, but this whole experience is hurting me....

[mhowe]

I think that it doesn't take a month to break up with crazy. He is blowing smoke up your skirt.

[rosecolored108]

Those were my thoughts.

[Nervousone]

I agree. He is still seeing her. If he wanted to end it he could.

[reinventmyself]

Yah. . I concur

Trade places. If the guy you've been dating in the interim seemed a little unbalanced, would it take you a month to `call it'??

It wouldn't for me. It would be apparent what I needed to do and I would act on it accordingly.

The fact that he's willing to risk losing you in the interim is suspect at best.

I would give him a deadline. .

How about 24 hours!? Are you worth it??. .

What he does will be very telling.

[rosecolored108]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I was hoping to not have to do the deadline thing, but it seems like that is probably the only option. I am disappointed it has come to this.