Will you have a better chance getting your ex GF back by standing your ground?

[theREALdusman]

Hey guys,

 

Just seeking everyone's thoughts on whether you have a better chance of getting an ex back by standing you're ground after you tell them what the boundaries are?

 

I basically told my ex girlfriend that she shouldn't be contacting or meeting up with me unless she wants to talk about us getting back together, and since we've met up twice in person already, I just had to tell her that i can't just be her friend and that I want to be more, and that she needs to have a think about what it'll mean if she chooses not to have me in her life.

 

I know I had to tell her that in person and I'm glad I did, but because I really just want her to come back because I love her so much, and I'm just trying not to have doubts about what I told her, and since I'm in full no contact mode now, the ball is in her court i guess. She told me that she doesn't really know what she wants & that she just wants to be selfish for once and that she's going to go see her mum who's been really sick lately and work out her priorities, and she also said: and i quote "I want to do me things" whatever the hell that means.

 

I'm just trying to keep myself focused on me right now, but deep down I just really want her back. And I know for a fact that eventually she's going to contact me eventually, and was just wondering if I should still stand my ground if I want her back...

 

Cheers!

[dave_1966]

In your case I would read 'I want to do me things' as meet other guys. You've very weak seeing her on her terms as friends, so she has all the power in this right now. You're right to tell her that the only time you'd see her again was for reconciliation, but for that to have resonance you must now stage a disappearing act with her that may be forever. You have to block her on Facebook, email, and so on to hasten your own healing process.

 

To be honest with you, I'd get over her and look for someone new. She most likely is.

[patterned]

I don't know the full situation, so it depends. My first thought is That you benefit if you focus on getting yourself back. You're a little lost in need and desperation right now (which is totally normal).

 

However, if the breakup was because you were somehow being stubborn, or neglectful and there's a need to address an issue then there's a benefit to having an interaction that demonstrates you willingness to change and improve.

[Movingforward3]

At the end of the day, you must always be true to you. I am sure you love her, but you can't make her love you. You did the right thing with what you told her and now you need to let her be. Let her live with the decision. Live your life and have fun. Get a hobby. She will get with you if she changes her mind. Don't pine away for her. It won't do you any good.

[mhowe]

and i quote "I want to do me things" whatever the hell that means

 

Her "me things" don't include thinking about you, the relationship or reconciling. I would take it as the green light to move on.