his family are just THE most important thing in his life..

[maaraishuk]

i'm fed up. to a point where sometimes i feel like washing my hands of this.

 

4 year anniversary approaching, and all i reminisce about is pre marriage days, when i was young, free and able to enjoy life.

 

i'm married to a person stuck in a rut. he knows nothing but to visit his family every single day, do jobs and errands for his family, pray, or go to work.

 

i feel dead beat.

 

i feel insecure. he loves them and is close to them more than he is to me. the way he talks to his parents, siblings, the bond he has with them, he is not as close to me.

 

i feel like perhaps he would prefer living with them, rather than building a life with me.

 

which leads to insecurity. about how much he visits them. about how often he takes my children there.

 

he takes my children almost every single day.

 

it's as though, the minute i leave the house to go to work, he goes there.

 

he's a true mummy's boy, and it makes me cringe. oh so much. to the point i cannot bear her anymore. so i rarely go.

 

i feel like taking my kids, and taking a break.

 

i was a spontaneous person, who loved to be free, and enjoy life. being married to him, is like being in the dark ages..all we know and do is his family/work/home.

 

speaking to him is pointless. it just drives him closer to them.

 

shall i take a break? to perhaps teach him the value of having a wife and kids? i'm not asking for him to disconnect, but just to balance things a bit better. but we just go round in circles. and end up in the same place.

 

today, for example. we were going to a party at his family's in the evening. asked him to keep the kids at home, entertain and play with them for the day whilst im at work. when we are back, attend the party at his family's house. the minute i'm out the door, he's gone to his parents. it's as though he has ants in his pants and cannot sit still at home.

 

i honestly feel like tearing my hair out. just dont know what to do.

[Capricorn3]

He will NEVER change. EVER. This is who he is - it's part of his make-up. I think even if you took a break (separated) it won't make any difference to him because he'll simply go to his family.

 

I can only suggest you maybe try marriage counseling - just you - so that you have a place/person to vent to, to maybe give you help and guidance. If you feel it helps you, then suggest your husband go too. I wish you luck.