What does it mean to be addicted to someone and is it the same thing as love

[92151794]

I have a friend who claims that they are addicted to their gf and they are like "god" to them. This person is a really bad person. She cheated on him multiple times got preg as a result but he still stays she's told him he's nothing and she doesn't love him and treats him like her slave. She keeps taking all his money and food goes to her he never takes care of himself. She is only using/hurting him he takes drugs to cope because he is so depressed. He knows another girl who really loves him But refuses to leave. He tried to kill himself twice this month due to her cheating/hurting him he is literally dying inside he's lost so much weight and i don't even recognize him he smiles sometimes but not like he used to he is an empty shell of a man and can't see he's only getting hurt and won't leave for his addiction to her. How do i help him see this person for who they really are? I want to help him Do you think he will figure out this is not right on his own and try to better his life in some way or is this a vicious cycle.

[Hermes]

 

 

And:

 

"Love addiction is characterized by compulsive patterns in romance, sexuality and relationships that have harmful consequences for the addict and their partners. Although love addiction may sound less damaging than other addictions, it shares many similarities. The consequences of love addiction may include lost marriages, careers and child custody, as well as health problems such as sexually transmitted diseases. In some cases, stalking, domestic violence and homicide have been reported.

 

Love addicts are characteristically familiar with desperate hopes and seemingly unending fears. Fearing rejection, pain and unfamiliar experiences, and having little faith in their ability or right to inspire love, they wait, wish, and hope for love, perhaps their least familiar experience.

 

To understand love addiction, we need look no further than the relationships depicted in books, movies and songs. Our culture glorifies romance and the pursuit of “the one” who will complete us and allow us to live happily ever after. While romance can be a natural and healthy part of relationships, the love addict pursues romance and the “high” of new love without ever developing genuine intimacy and connection."

 

"The causes of love addiction are complex and typically rooted in early life experiences. The most prominent factors that contribute to love addiction are childhood neglect or abandonment, rejection, and physical, emotional or sexual abuse."

[Seraphim]

No, addiction is not love. He is an abused co dependant person, not a person in love. Probably the only way he will leave is with professional help. He should also get professional help for a significant amount of time after he leaves and not get into another relationship UNTIL he is healed. Jumping from a drama filled abusive relationship into another relationship is not a recipe for success. People have to heal first.

[agent1607307371]

He tried to kill himself twice this month due to her cheating/hurting him

 

No. Most likely he enjoys the drama and likes being with her as it gives him a reason to behave as he does and still get sympathy from the people around him as they demonise her.

[DoF]

Your friend is broken and damaged. It's not addiction, is pure stupidity and lack of BALLS.

 

I would stay away from this person.......doesn't sounds like a good/healthy individual to be around aka "friend".

[ParisPaulette]

Your friend is very emotionally damaged himself and so is the girl he loves. Together they are a walking billboard for toxic relationship. This is something most people who are not seriously damaged in some way just don't understand. "Why doesn't he/she leave that person? Why do they stay? Why are they..." and on and on it goes. Not recognizing that the abused person is every bit as damaged in their own way as the abuser and that's your friend.

 

BTW you do him a great deal of ill to simply let him keep complaining and venting to you. It feeds his continued need for drama and sometimes such people will try and actively recruit others to "needle" or "confront" their partner, not in the hopes of salvation, but in the hopes of feeding the drama and creating an outside threat, so they can be united with the abuser against some outside threat. And if this man is filling your ears with complaints about his partner that would be you he's trying to drag into this toxic stew.

 

My advice is the next time he starts you hold up a hand and say, "Look, I'm not a professional, this is beyond anything I can do for you. Here, call this number: and talk to someone who will tell you what to do who is a professional. Complaining about her won't do either of us any good." And then you get up and you walk away and you stop being part of his problem.

 

And if you've fallen for this guy you need to go see a therapist about why you'd start thinking romantically about someone so clearly, clearly damaged. He needs to be in therapy himself, he needs treatment, he doesn't need to be complaining and trying to suck others into his drama. Tell him to get professional help and get out of there.

 

Yes, that sounds harsh, but you aren't going to fix or save him no matter how much he hints if only (sigh/sob) someone out there cared ENOUGH to let me cry and moan and be a victim I just might get better all by my lonesome with not a finger of effort lifted on my part."

 

The fact is like all addicts only the addict can save himself. You need to get out now before the drama swallows you whole and yes pointing him the in the right direction IS the right thing to do. Listening to him whine and moan on isn't.

[92151794]

Your totally right. Thats what i'm gonna do next time if he tries to go on about that again. I tried to when he was saying he was depressed and stuff but it didn't stick with him.