chocomints Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I would like to get some opinion about this wonderful man which I have met online. Actually we know each other for about 8 years but hardly talk, we are playing an online games. Recently we started to talk to each other and we have texted for about 2 months and we are living in a same state. He will text me everyday and he told me that he like me a lot, we can talk about everything under the sun and are very comfortable about each other. I have actually question him why he did not initiate a call to talk to me over the phone, he said he does not have the courage to do so yet. We have plan to meet at the end of Nov, that's his bday week. He did told me that he really like me a lot and would like to commit to me but only after we meet then he stop texting me. But he will still talk to me when we met at our online game and we still play together. It has been 2 weeks I have not get any text from him and I also did not initiate any text, only once because I am asking for his opinion about something which he responded almost immediate. When I logged in into our online game, he message me too, only his text has stop. We used to be very close when we talk, but now when we met online there is like some kind of barrier between us. I no longer feel his affection towards me. He used to tell me a lot about his daily activities, now everything has stop. We did the planning of meeting on his bday week then we have plan some other thing that we want to do together like travelling to certain places and try certain things. He seems to be very enthusiastic about it and he just changed overnight. He is leaving me confuse. He told me he like me then said we meet first then see how. Now it leaves me wonder am I expecting too much from him. He told me that he has been living like this for the past 10 years and he would like to live like this in future too, that he want to go out with his friends occasionally and still playing games because that is his passion. He doesn't want his friends to feel neglected if he got a gf. He still would like to meet them occasionally. This leaves me wonder did I subconsciously hindering him from meeting his friends or he feel he spent too much time texting with me and his friends feel neglected. Beats me. Btw his last relationship was 11 years ago. Btw we are both in our 30s. I am wondering is it ok for me to follow up with him are we still meeting on the date we set? Or is he losing interests? Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I don't think he is single. I think he is having fun chatting with you, but has no intentions of meeting you. Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 He's a time waster. You will never meet. I'd stop talking to him, and just disappear. Link to comment
notalady Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 He told me that he has been living like this for the past 10 years and he would like to live like this in future too, that he want to go out with his friends occasionally and still playing games because that is his passion. He doesn't want his friends to feel neglected if he got a gf. He still would like to meet them occasionally. His priorities are: 1. Online gaming 2. Friends 3. Girlfriend And has no intention of changing that in the future either. If you're ok with being bottom on the list, then yea proceed to pursue him. The guy sounds very unbalanced/weird to be honest. Does he even have a stable, full time job? You expect a guy in his 30s to have more productive priorities, such as a career, relationship (romantically, family and friends), want to have a family, have hobbies that is not solely on a screen. He sounds like he never grew up. Plus you never even met him in person before, he doesn't like YOU, because he doesn't know you. He might like the idea of an online girlfriend. In any case, I would suggest you let this one go. Go out and meet real men in real life. Link to comment
chocomints Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Thank you for your reply. Yeah, that's what I thought too he sound weird. But he stated that we does not want a virtual relationship and he wanted to commit and decide when we meet. What puzzled me is he suddenly from being very affectionate towards me to being a bit cold. He used to text me in the morning, lunch hour and when I knock off from work and we would chat till wee hours in the morning. Now all these has stopped. So I wonder he lose interests overnight or should I ask him again if he still keen to meet on the date that we have plan? I do not want to appear needy and pushy. I am not used to pursue or chasing a guy. And yes he does have a full time job and he works part time during the weekend as well. He shared a lot of his stories with me including his family and friends and in fact I have known a lot about him. But somehow the sudden change, I just do not get it. Link to comment
notalady Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 No point trying to figure out what's going on in his head, just watch the actions. If he's not asking you out (on a real date), he's not interested in more that being chat buddies, which is what you have. It's never a good idea to get to know someone online too much before meeting in person, it builds a false sense of intimacy (ie you feel like you know a lot about him and you are really close) when you are in fact strangers. As said before, doesn't sound like he wants to prioritise a relationship in his life, he's a bachelor and always will be even if he has a girlfriend. I say just forget about him. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I would follow up once. Usually when someone stops their communication that abruptly they've lost interest. He maybe talking to you occasionally just to be friendly, or to keep you in his back pocket. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Sounds like his 'thoughts' about everything has changed. I suggest you work on accepting this and leave him be. Just chat via gaming as you are. Being single 11 yrs then all of this 'excitement' for a while.. probably made him 'think' and he maybe realized this isn't what he wants..... best back off n see him as no more than a friend... sry Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I don't think he is single. I think he is having fun chatting with you, but has no intentions of meeting you. Why can't men lose interest without being accused of being adulterers? Link to comment
SoulTaker Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I would like to get some opinion about this wonderful man which I have met online. Actually we know each other for about 8 years but hardly talk, we are playing an online games. Recently we started to talk to each other and we have texted for about 2 months and we are living in a same state. He will text me everyday and he told me that he like me a lot, we can talk about everything under the sun and are very comfortable about each other. I have actually question him why he did not initiate a call to talk to me over the phone, he said he does not have the courage to do so yet. Your update is confusing. You've mentioned talking to him, but say that he hasn't initiated a a call by phone. Have you ever heard his voice, or seen his face (e.g. skype)? Link to comment
chocomints Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Thanks for the input. Just an update, I did asked him again if he is on for the date we plan, he replied "sure, if u don't mind". Then out of curiosity, I asked if I got say or do anything that offended him in away, that's why we hardly communicate lately, he replied, "no such thing, pls don't overthink". So i guess i can trust him? He all along very honest with me about how he feel and such .. but at the same time I am having doubts, he accepted because he doesn't want to be rude? Well, overthink kills me =( @SoulTaker, I'm sorry for the confusion and bad English, no we do not talk on the phone before, all via online, I've known him online for the past 8 years, only recently we started to communicated via online game and whatapps. Link to comment
SoulTaker Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Thanks for the input. Just an update, I did asked him again if he is on for the date we plan, he replied "sure, if u don't mind". Then out of curiosity, I asked if I got say or do anything that offended him in away, that's why we hardly communicate lately, he replied, "no such thing, pls don't overthink". So i guess i can trust him? He all along very honest with me about how he feel and such .. but at the same time I am having doubts, he accepted because he doesn't want to be rude? Well, overthink kills me =( @SoulTaker, I'm sorry for the confusion and bad English, no we do not talk on the phone before, all via online, I've known him online for the past 8 years, only recently we started to communicated via online game and whatapps. So, you know nothing about this man, outside of online gaming. That's not good. This sounds eerily similar to "catfishing" (but not exactly). Anytime there's deception (excuses in not meeting) in dealing with someone, it's a bad sign. There is no trust in this situation. Go with your instincts, and let this matter drop. Link to comment
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