Ludwig22 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hello again community, My ex-gf in which we spent 5 years together left me for another guy 4 months ago. I've tried to convince her to stay for a few weeks after the break up but she is dead set on being with him over me. I've accepted that and am trying to move on. However, about once a week she will text me about random things like news topics or something. It was a rather messy breakup and she said she wanted to be friends. I told her that could not do that as the feelings I still had for her were still very raw. Why does she keep contacting me? I haven't blocked her bc I told her in case of an emergency I'd be available. Any help would be appreciated thanks. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Because she's selfish and wants what she wants, when she wants it. Her self interests are more important that your delicate feelings. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 block her..i read your other threads...don't do that in case of an emergency thing.. she has another guy... Link to comment
TMifune Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Because she's selfish and wants what she wants, when she wants it. Her self interests are more important that your delicate feelings. I'm not saying it was your intent, but putting delicate in front of feelings sure did make it sound condescending. OP....we call them breadcrumbs. They're tiny little pieces of contact designed to keep you from fully moving on just in case she changes her mind or finds herself in a position where she needs a backup man. They're not good for you in any way and actually show a stark lack of empathy for your feelings and lack of respect for your wishes. Link to comment
DoF Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Here is what she is really saying to you. Hey, I know I cheated and all but stick around on stand by in case this new guy doesn't work out. By NOT blocking her and making it clear that she is to NEVER contact you again, you enable above to thrive and be REALITY. I would highly suggest you block/ignore her and tell her to never contact you again. Only then you can start the healing and recover (which will take good 3-6 months). ANY contact = reset of your healing time, so don't do it. And you are right, there is no way in hell you can be "friends". Give it time, it's going to suck but there is nothing you can do. In time, you will feel better. During this time, I always recommend to stay away from opposite and focus on yourself. Eat a healthy diet and do daily physical activity or sports. Basically, you have 6 months to become the best person you can possibly be......so that when you are ready, you can attract one that is like you. Cause we often attract the people that we are! Good luck Link to comment
Pause Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 She's not been very fair on you by getting in touch. I would do your best to move on and ignore the messages, as difficult as that is. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 What "emergency"? Admit it, that's just an excuse to not block her. You aren't blocking her because you don't want to. For whatever reason, you want her to be able to contact you. Are you hoping it doesn't work out with the other guy and she comes back to you? Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 It's difficult to block, I get it I've been there. She's just throwing you some meaningless crumbs. Why? Anyone's guess. She's bored, she needs an ego stroke, she misses the friendship, etc etc...but the truth is she doesn't want YOU for a relationship. While it's a hard move to block, what it does is create the necessary distance so YOU can heal. My ex wife and I have kids but our daughter recently turned 18, son is 27 so I finally said enough and told her talk to them now I'm done. Haven't had ANY contact with her in 2 months and believe me it's the way to go. No social media, texts, emails, pictures, etc you have to go cold turkey and live a life without them. Takes time but it's so worth it . Link to comment
Ludwig22 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 What "emergency"? Admit it, that's just an excuse to not block her. You aren't blocking her because you don't want to. For whatever reason, you want her to be able to contact you. Are you hoping it doesn't work out with the other guy and she comes back to you? I know it seems irrational but idk I didn't want to come off as an by completely blocking her. So I said only contact me if it is an emergency hoping she would take that to mean unless she is laying in a ditch somewhere and needs immediate help, not to contact me. I minimally respond to the messages she does send, not to give her the impression I'm interested in having long text conversations. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 So she left you for another guy, but you're worried she'll get mad at you if you block her? Sorry, I'm not understanding this. Link to comment
Ludwig22 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 So she left you for another guy, but you're worried she'll get mad at you if you block her? Sorry, I'm not understanding this. On second thought, me neither. You are right. Link to comment
SURPRISE Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 A friend would not do you that way. I went through that when I was dating and it did not work out well. I tried to be friends while she dated someone else. He dumped her and she actually came back to me. 4 years later we got married and 3 years later she did it again. Link to comment
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