So I developed feelings for one of my best friends

[SomethingInThe]

I know this girl for like...3 years...and we really enjoy the company of each other...she trusts me and i am always there when she needs me! I really have feelings for her! I haven't slept for two days because I can't find a solution...Should I risk her and our friendship by telling her how I feel or should I swallow my feelings and continue being her "best friend"?

[mhowe]

Since you aren't sleeping all of a sudden, you might as well tell her. Just make sure the risk is worth the reward.

 

Personally, when that happened to me, I usually decided that I would rather have a friend for years to come than a boyfriend for a year or so.

[DoF]

Reason #42342 why I don't believe in female/male friendships.

 

Whenever you are around opposite sex long enough and invest time, feelings will grow and develop. Just a matter of time.

 

HUMAN NATURE

 

I have a feeling you always had attraction towards this person and just masked it/hid it well.....and that is NOT what friends do. You were never her friend......

 

 

 

Go ahead and ask her, chances are it's 3 years overdue anyways.

[saluk]

Ask her out, because going forward it won't really be a genuine friendship. (I don't agree with DoF that it was NEVER genuine, but we will always disagree on this topic Where we will agree however is that now that you know you are attracted it for sure wont be)

 

Her turning you down may help to turn your feelings around and you can go back to being friends, while drawing it out can lead your feelings to grow and is probably going to damage the friendship in any case. Don't make too big a deal about asking her out, and it will be something that you can probably recover from even if it's a "let's just be friends".

 

Alternately, if you really want to keep the friendship and not risk losing it (either due to a rejection or mhowes scenario of dating for short time and then losing each other forever), then you should step way back and go no contact for a while to see if you can get your feelings in check. Focus on other things for a while and it's amazing how much you can change. You can probably never quite be as close as you have been, but you can remain friends.

 

I'm a very friendly person and always have been so I've run into this scenario many times. I've successfully walked through both door #1 and door #2, and I've also tried door #2 unsuccessfully. Door #1 did result in essentially losing the friendship, but it was a great relationship so it's a tradeoff. So you will have to follow your own instincts. Focus is key, don't just coast. Make an intentional decision to either give it a normal, real shot, the same as asking any other woman out; or decide to reject that notion and take necessary steps.

[j.man]

I would ask yourself honestly:

 

Have I been attracted to her from the beginning?

 

If you two have had a genuine friendship for three years and you've honestly just started pining for her, then I wouldn't risk the friendship. I'd take a big step back and let the distance get you out of that mindset before you start hanging out again. If you've wanted to date her from the beginning, then get it over with and ask her out.