Came home and cried today..what went wrong?

[WhatHappened8]

Hey everyone..

 

Im new to this so any advice/opinions would help me out. Been broken up with my ex of 1 1/2 years for about 3 weeks now. It's been extremely hard for me and I haven't been able to put things into perspective or advice. She dumped me and has become so cold which I think is a defence mechanism...I just don't know how to react too it. It hurts to see someone who loved you so much and who you loved so much and thought you were strong with turn against you just like that. I know she is hurt. We broke up because I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety due to the death of my sister last year..it just made me go down hill and I just wasn't spending time with her..I understand why we broke up, I guess it just really hurts to see it come to this. Her mom has been really supportive and reached out to me..she also told me to reach out to her whenever I needed someone to talk too..(this gave me some hope)..however, my ex seems like the type that would never reach out with me which worries me because right now I really want to have that glimpse of hope that someday soon she will reach out to me and miss me..is that selfish to feel? I was a good guy to her aside from when my anxiety kicked in. She still ahs kept me on all of her social media sites and bbm as well...not sure if this means she too has some hope that we will reconcile?..

 

Do girl dumpers ever go back to good guys in their life? Is her keeping me on social media sites mean anything?..Does it help that her mom is still willing to speak to me? I need any sort of advice..or opinion..i am so down and having a hard time trying to find any hope in this all. I hope once i;m back on my feet again we can get together and talk about things. But who knows if she will ever reach out to me again or want to speak...

[shellyf62]

I'm sorry that this happened to you.

My Sister passed away too, about 7 years ago, and it is a very hard thing to deal with.

Are you have counselling for the anxiety?

 

I suggest you go no contact with your ex gf & her family. Give yourself time to heal your anxiety without having to deal with the what ifs from her coming back or not. Also don't look at her social media, actually delete them.

Talking to her Mum is probably going to be painful, as it could be giving you false hope of a reconciliation.

 

Take care of yourself while you start to heal.

Best wishes.

[LovelyDani87]

I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. Break ups are so hard but try to focus more on you at this moment and let things take its natural course. I would avoid reaching out to her or her family, at least for a few weeks.

[ntAgainPetunia]

So sorry for all of your losses. Right now it would probably be better dealing with the loss of your sister than with your ex gf. Focus on yourself, not her.

 

Your ex most likely cares for you very deeply but is doing what is necessary for her own healing. It's hard, but don't take it personally or as something against you. The future is uncertain, she may or may not reach out again. She is probably keeping you on her social media sites as a friend, not as a bf. I'll repeat what everyone else is saying, go NC and your healing will go faster (but nowhere near as fast as you'd like).

 

When you are back on your feet is when you can start worrying what she is thinking. Bonus: at that point, you might not even care

 

Finally, have you been seeing a therapist to help you through these times? You may find it helpful.

[Running55]

Sounds like a typical young person relationship that you two weren't compatible.

 

It happened to me when I was 19. She dumped me and I was all messed up in the head for months and months. It turns out she later told me a few years later she made a mistake and should have stayed with me. I was over her completely by then and even earlier and when she said she shouldn't have broke up with me I kind of felt like a piece of meat. Like the guys she went and had sex with over the last 3 years weren't as nice as me and blah blah blah. It occurred to me we were not at all compatible and back then I couldn't see it because i was blinded by her beauty for she was hot.

 

Looking back I am very glad she dumped me. You will too in time but now you are hurt because a cute girl dumped you. if you was compatible you would still be together - remember that. In love couples stay together. You wouldn't want to be locked up in a jail cell with a celly who didn't like you and the same goes for a relationship.

 

Don't look at her like a sexy cute women with soft lips and nice hair, nice exciting life, and a pretty face... No look at her like someone that really doesn't like you that much. So repay her the favor and ignore her.

[overthemoon86]

Hi there, I am really sorry for the loss of your sister, that must be so hard.

 

Do not blame yourself for the end of your relationship, that is really important. You will feel guilt, remorse, and sadness if you put all the blame on yourself. Relationships end for a variety of different reasons and in most cases there is fault in both parties. Take that burden off of you.

 

It's really important to focus on yourself and move on. You need to love yourself again and trust me it's a journey, it won't happen over night. Moving on from a relationship takes work and patience. You can do it.