is it okay to break the rules in a crisis?

[elvisa]

I have this friend that I really like. we have been friends for years but were never close until this year. Now I realize that since we have grown up and changed we have a lot in common. We have a lot of the same problems and he has been a great source of comfort to me because I can talk to him.

so what is the problem? well to start out we both have depression. and we both seem to have "intimacy issues". The crazy thing is I don't even know if he likes me for sure.

I have been trying something different with this guy which is that I haven't been pursuing him. I don't call him right away I am trying to give him a lot of space. I think that this has been working because he returns my phone calls promptly and he even tells me where he has been! He also asks me when I can come over whenever I talk to him and he seems interested in everything I say. He even wishes me luck on my work. This is not something I'm used to with guys (especially this one) but like i said I am trying something new.

I thought everything was going well, up until a week ago. he called me and told me that he lost his job. He said he would talk to me soon but we never did. now I don't know what to do. I don't want to call him and "check up on him" because that goes against what I have been doing, which is working for me. On the other hand I'm his friend and I want him to know that I care, if he's depressed then he should know that. But on the other hand, if he's really really depressed, then he wouldn't want to talk to me. something tells me that if he wanted to talk, he would call. but waiting is driving me nuts, and i'm worried. anyone have any advice??

[DN]

In short - call him. Will he not wonder why his friend has not called when he may need her?

Friendship is about doing what is good for the friend not necessarily what is good for you.

 

"Greater love hath no man (woman) that lays down his (her) life for his (her) friend"