elvisa

I smoked for 10 years. I quit smoking 2 and a half years ago, this is how I did it. first I only allowed myself to smoke in one room in the house, like if you have a garage go in there, somewhere not that comfortable, somehwere with no tv or radio. Don't smoke in your car, clean it, air it out. drink coffee, soda, chew gum, eat a ton of mints, but don't smoke everytime you feel like it. Busy yourself in projects, whatever you like to do, read, play a game. Most important, try your best to stay away from people who smoke. I know this is hard, but limit your exposure, don't go to bars or other smokey places for awhile.you will find other things to do that interest you and will begin to not miss it as much...think of smoking as a "habit" not as an "addiction" you can change your habits easily. Then when you're ready to go cold turkey, Don't tell anybody you're quitting, I didn't and people didn't notice for a long time. It took the pressure off of me because I knew nobody was watching me to see if I messed up. You think your friends will support you, but they won't!! I went to a party and when people found out I was smoke free they made rude little cynical comments...they were jealous!! after a week of not smoking, take some deep breaths, it will feel good, your lungs will feel great and you will have the incentive to keep going. you will start to notice that you can taste food better, think about the nice stuff, like not having to go out in the cold for a break, Then try exercising, because the longer you go without a cigarette, the more you can do physically. it will help relieve stress too. good luck!! p.s. wellbutrin might help your cravings, but you need to change your thinking too.

the guy who gave me his card is someone that I have just seen around work. He walked up to me and introduced himself. A lot of people say they have never been on a traditional date, so if you're spending time with a friend of the opposite sex and it's not a date then what is it?? How are all these people hooking up? I want my next relationship to be with a friend, not some guy that picked me up at a bar, who tried to sleep with me the first time he saw me, that is why I'm asking. I haven't been in a relationship in 3 years, he was my only relationship and now I feel clueless.

my question is, last week I was asked out by a man. he gave me his card and told me to call him. He didn't ask me for my phone number. I also have a friend I am interested in, he always tells me to call him, he never calls me out of the blue but if I call he will want to make plans... I don't get this, why do they want me to call them? what happened to men wanting to chase women? are these men not so into me or what is going on?? perhaps it's because they know I'm busy. I don't get it. have any other women out there experienced this? or what do you guys think?? Do you do this? I'm not used to this. my other question is, what is a date these days? Is "hanging out" watching a movie at the spur of the moment a date if you're with a friend? it seems like many of the couples I know never really went on real dates. is the traditional date over? it seems like I only go on dates with guys who I am getting to know. do friends not go on dates because they already know each other and don't feel like they need to impress? can somebody help clarify this gray area.....?

I have this friend that I really like. we have been friends for years but were never close until this year. Now I realize that since we have grown up and changed we have a lot in common. We have a lot of the same problems and he has been a great source of comfort to me because I can talk to him. so what is the problem? well to start out we both have depression. and we both seem to have "intimacy issues". The crazy thing is I don't even know if he likes me for sure. I have been trying something different with this guy which is that I haven't been pursuing him. I don't call him right away I am trying to give him a lot of space. I think that this has been working because he returns my phone calls promptly and he even tells me where he has been! He also asks me when I can come over whenever I talk to him and he seems interested in everything I say. He even wishes me luck on my work. This is not something I'm used to with guys (especially this one) but like i said I am trying something new. I thought everything was going well, up until a week ago. he called me and told me that he lost his job. He said he would talk to me soon but we never did. now I don't know what to do. I don't want to call him and "check up on him" because that goes against what I have been doing, which is working for me. On the other hand I'm his friend and I want him to know that I care, if he's depressed then he should know that. But on the other hand, if he's really really depressed, then he wouldn't want to talk to me. something tells me that if he wanted to talk, he would call. but waiting is driving me nuts, and i'm worried. anyone have any advice??