imdead18 Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 I went out with my bf the other night. He's in a band and it was his first gig. I was having a great time helping him get ready and what not, but than I found out he had invited 3 of his exs to the show. I kinda got mad. Now I'm thinking, should I have gotten mad? It just bothered me a lot. Would you be mad/bothered if your bf/gf did that? ... thanx for any responses Link to comment
SilverManic Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 He may just honestly be friends with them. Maybe you should just mention it to him if it bothers you, but he might get angry and say you don't trust him so I'd be careful how you word it. Don't worry so much, But yes I'd be bothered if I was going out with a guy and he did that. I'd ask him if he was friends with them, if he said yes I'd leave it alone, if he said no then I'd question why he invited them. Good Luck, ~S. Link to comment
emma34 Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 yes i would be bothered. What he SHOULD have done was came up with someone to tell you - like that they are friends and have always be intersted in that kind of music or something. Tell him it was kind of uncomfortable with all his ex's there, and you trust him, but you just don't like it. Hopefully he understands and will stop inviting his ex's to his gigs...but if he gets defensive when you ask him about it, then tell him your not accusing him of anything, but he should be able to understand where you are coming from. He should. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 ell maybe you should have been annoyed. He should have consulted you first, I mean you are is gf. He should have given you some warning on the matter. If he was you how would he of reacted? Miya Link to comment
imdead18 Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 i just felt really uncomfortable and i just think it was wrong ... he said that they are just friends and he just wants me and what not .... but ive heard that before and so to me that means nothing ... we jsut started dated like a week ago ... but we dated 2 yrs ago also ... i dont know .. i told him how would you feel if i did something like that ... and he said that he wouldnt be upset ... yet after the show when we spoke i told him that today my friend (a guy friend) invited me over to a party he may have and that there might be some drinking ... and he got all mad at me for that ... so .. yea... Link to comment
Mun Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 You gotta tell him "Baby what's good for the goose is good for the gander... he is a friend and that's it... you're the one I want" and tell him with a big smile . If he can't take it then he shouldn't be dishing it out. Best wishes Link to comment
mt_joy Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I would be very bothered if he didn't tell me first. If I didn't even know he was still friendly with these exes, and then I learn he is calling them and inviting them to his gig, I'd be worried. Very, very worried. Link to comment
DN Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 agree with everone else, he should have said but..... I am involved in community theatre and when I did my first show I invited everyone I ever knew (and some who never remembered me!!) It may be he just wanted to make sure it was successful show!! Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I am always more skeptical of guys who have ex girlfriends who all HATE HIM, and who he hates, as opposed to ones he is still on decent terms with. If he's still on good terms with three ex-girlfriends, it is actually a good sign in the sense that his relationships have ended well, and respectfully (which would make him a respecting and pretty good guy). He probably just invited them to have a lot of people at his show that he knew, people to cheer him on and support him. I doubt that he invited them for any other reason, though I'm sure that I'd be a bit confused if my boyfriend did that. Link to comment
cremebrulee Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Yes i would have been bothered by that too. He should have had the courtesy to let you know beforehand that his past girlfriends might attend so at least you were aware in advance. I think it is possible that he is just on friendly terms or maybe he just invited everyone he's ever met so his first gig would get a good crowd. It is most likely nothing to worry about - he probably just did a typical guy thing and forgot to consider the girls feelings in a situation like that. Link to comment
DN Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 cremebrulee wrote "a typical guy thing and forgot to consider the girls feelings in a situation like that." typical guy huh? I guess girls would never do anything like that! Grrrrr!! Link to comment
cremebrulee Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Sorry! I guess there would be girls out there that would do the same thing. I just would never do that and i have known a lot of guys that have done similar things and thought nothing of it and wondered why their girls got upset with them.... Girls can be equally mean i suppose. Link to comment
DN Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Sorry! I guess there would be girls out there that would do the same thing. on behalf of the guys - Link to comment
cooldude1234 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Being in a band myself, I can understand why he invited them. Usually when people are just starting out, they invite EVERYONE they know(they bring money, support, etc.) He probably didn't even consider that it would make you mad. If he wasn't 'hanging out' with them afterwards or anything, I would try to be not so upset. However, you can talk to him about it if you want. Link to comment
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